Of sneaking and texts
by anto-writes-what-she-wants
Summary: He's starving and tired and one of his contact lenses bothers him as he blinks when he goes into Delmar's Deli and the only reason he doesn't run into the door is because he's familiar with the place. He's about to say hi to Mr. Delmar, one hand trying to rub his eye without making it worse, when he notices there is no Mr. Delmar, only Gustavo and a girl he has never seen before.
1. Of sneaking and texts

_**God, I kind of hate this format. If you have ao3, go and check out this story there! It looks better, I promise. That being said, let's go!**_

* * *

Peter must be six, maybe, the first time Ben takes him to Delmar's. It had been six months that day since his parents had left him at Ben and May's, still sleepy, still wearing his red pajamas with a jacket thrown over, and the heart ache had been great for him. Six months back then had felt like a year now, and it had made him realize that his parents were not coming back, no matter how strongly he wished for it.

"These are the best sandwiches in Queens, Pete" Ben tells him, tall and kind in a way Peter can only dream to be. He's his father's younger brother, but his eyes wrinkle just the same when he smiles.

"What do I ask for?" he asks, just behind Ben- and never Uncle Ben, because for as long as he can remember, he's always been just _Ben_, just as May has always been just _May_. His parents had been relatively young when they had him, which made Ben and May young enough not to like being called Aunt and Uncle.

"I don't know, what do you want on you sandwich?" and Ben says hi to the owner, calling him by his first name and shaking his hand over the counter.

"Is this your nephew, Peter? Hi, kid. Your uncle has told me a lot about you" the man seems nice, curly black hair over his eyes and an accent not American.

"Hi" he murmurs, half hiding behind his uncle. There was a time when he would have bounced towards the counter and asked a million questions.

That doesn't happen anymore, no matter how much May tries to tell him his parents didn't leave because he was too loud that day.

He ends up tugging on Ben's jacket, whispering he wants a number four and when Ben asks if he wants to add pickles, he nods with a smile.

* * *

For months, Ben takes him once a week to Delmar's to get a sandwich after work and school-he tries every single sandwich they have to offer, every variation of them, until he settles for his favorite.

It's the best part of his day, when he gets to walk home with Ben eating a sandwich, wiping away the crumbs before entering the apartment because even though May is, like, really cool, this is something that is just Ben and Peter's. He gets to tell Ben everything about his day on the way, mumbling through mouthfuls of lettuce and tomato the things he has learned and the things he wants to learn. Ben always nods at him, telling him the things he knows and asking what he doesn't. Ben is not a scientist like his dad was, but he's still wicked smart and Peter knows he only asks to keep him talking because, for some reason, Ben likes to see him excited about things.

On his way home, Peter doesn't feel that much of an orphan.

* * *

He's starving and tired and one of his contact lenses bothers him as he blinks when he goes into Delmar's Deli and the only reason he doesn't run into the door is because he's familiar with the place. He's about to say hi to Mr. Delmar, one hand trying to rub his eye without making it worse, when he notices there is no Mr. Delmar, only Gustavo and a girl he has never seen before.

She must be his age, somewhat smaller with wavy black hair and brown eyes and a blinding smile as she asks what she can help him with.

"Uh..."

"Un número 5, Juliana, que este chavo siempre pide lo mismo" the guy making the sandwiches says, and he's thankful then that he knows enough Spanish to get the gist of it so he's already nodding by the time the girl turns back to him.

"A number 5, then?" she says, already punching in the numbers on the machine in front of her.

"Oh! Um, yeah, here" and he hands her the money he has already memorized from the amount of times he has come to buy after school, without Ben now that he can get home alone, and waits for his change. "Umm, who are you? Where is Mr. Delmar?"

"I'm Juliana, his daughter" she smiles, sitting on the little stool Mr. Delmar uses when there is no rush of people.

"I-I've never seen you here before" Peter says, hands on his pockets as he waits. He shifts his weight from one foot to the other when she shrugs her shoulders, and thinks of the way the J in her name is not pronounced like the J in juice.

"Yeah, school let out earlier today" she says, pushing a strand of hair that came out of her ponytail back "I've never seen you either" and she turns when the guy behind her hits her shoulder with the bag with his sandwich, glaring at him in a way that could chill Peter's bones if it was directed to him "Here you go, enjoy!"

"Thanks, Juliana" he smiles, giving her a little awkward wave and exiting the store to the sound of playful Spanish.

When Ben asks how his day was, he realizes he never told her his name.

* * *

Peter has a fresh spider bite in the back of his neck the day he meets her again, hours after school has ended for everyone, because everything was too much at school-the kids too loud, the colors too bright, his eyes too sharp and his hands too strong, so he had taken a walk after school to clear his head and ended up going to Delmar's later than usual.

"Gustavo, ¡un número 5 para el sobrino de Ben!" Juliana says the moment he steps through the door, blinding smile ready for him. Now that he can see better, hear better, he can notice the way her eyes are so dark and her skin so perfect. She has darker skin than his, but only looks tanned beside Gustavo. Her hair is not actually black, just really dark brown, and her nose is way prettier than Mr. Delmar's.

"Hi, Juliana" he says, taking out his wallet from his back pocket.

"Hi, Peter" she answers, and he doesn't ask how she knows his name "How's your aunt and uncle?" she asks as she accepts his money. Before she can start counting his change, he picks a bag of peanuts and lifts it so she can see.

"Good, they're good" he says, and she nods, closing the cash register, and Peter doesn't say how worried they must be because he only sent them one text saying he may be out later than usual.

"Long day?" she says, crossing her arms and leaning forwards into the counter in the same way her father does.

"You have no idea" he huffs, leaning in front of her, knees bent so he's not in her face.

"You'd be surprised" she answers, looking to the side as she fixes her hair and suddenly yells "¡No, Murph, sal de ahí!"

He turns around to see a cat, orange and fluffy, walking straight towards the place where Gustavo is finishing his sandwich.

"Gato idiota, te he dicho que a la comida no" Juliana mumbles, so softly he wouldn't have been able to hear her yesterday, but today he can hear all her words as she takes the cat into her arms and towards the door that leads to the apartment upstairs.

"You guys have a cat now?" he asks as Juliana disappears, probably to make sure the cat doesn't come down.

"It's Juliana's. Used to be a stray, she picked him up last week" Gustavo hands him his sandwich and shrugs.

"Thanks, man"

* * *

"It's my fault" he cries into May's shoulder, aware that he can't really hug her the way he wants, aware of the smell of her perfume and the wetness on her own cheeks. Earlier that day he had broken three pens and God, he's scared of holding her, but he can't not, not when he's breaking inside the same way she is, not when he needs comfort and she's the closest thing to family he has now.

"Peter, no"

"I was just angry and I didn't want to come home and, May, this is my fault and I'm so, so sorry" he says, his voice muffled by the fabric of her uniform. He knows he's leaving a wet patch on it, but he can't stop the tears.

"Peter, listen to me" May leans back and takes his face into her hands, her thumbs rubbing soothing shapes across his cheeks. He can barely keep his sobs in, his breaths short and quick "This is not your fault. You did not tell Ben to go and stop the mugger. You didn't shoot him. Ben did what he did because he was a good person and Peter, so are you. I see so much of your uncle in you. This was not your fault" May kisses his forehead and cradles his head, running her fingers through his hair "We're gonna be okay. I promise, we're going to be okay"

* * *

It takes him a while to go to Delmar's again. Every time he passes by, he can only hear Ben and the guilt is too much for him to handle. For weeks, all he can see around him is Ben, and all he can see is him laying on his own blood, his hand tainted red by the pressure he puts on the wound. Every little thing reminds him of Ben until he only wants to cry, because yeah, he lost his parents before, but that wasn't his fault. It hurt for a while, like a bitch, but it wasn't his fault, not really, and he was only six anyway.

Juliana is not there the next time he goes, and Mr. Delmar tells him how sorry he is and that he has seen May but he hasn't seen Peter, is he okay?

Is he?

* * *

Juliana Delmar is not a genius. She's not like Tony Stark, she doesn't have the great memory Captain America was given with the serum, not even close. Juliana is no superhero, she puts one shoe after the other, puts on her bra one boob at the time.

But Juliana is smart. Her grades when she was a child did not reflect this, but that was because she had not learned English until she was old enough to need it for school. Now, Juliana is smart and actually _sounds_ smart. Now, Juliana doesn't have an accent and can put a phrase together way better than back when she was in preschool.

Now, Juliana is part of the debate team of her school. They place second to Midtown's High in most competitions, but that's okay because Midtown High is not like their school. While Midtown has great labs and big rooms for their robotics team and for the investigations that students have, while Midtown has a shop class and their own football field, her school is small and poor. Half the taps in the bathroom don't work, and sometimes there are not enough chairs in a classroom because the seats have fallen off. The bathroom stalls don't always close and when they do, the locks probably don't work.

Juliana is smart.

That is not enough to get her into a good school.

* * *

Juliana is not reckless. Her parents teach her that she has to be careful, not to take out her phone when she's walking on the street, not to walk when she can take the bus, to have her things in her front pockets and never in the ones on the back of her jeans. Then, Juliana teaches herself to be careful in a world that won't teach others not to harm.

The things is…it's only eight. It's only eight in the evening, but it's already dark and she had forgotten all about how the days are shorter in winter. She pulls her backpack's straps closer and quickens her pace, passing alley after alley on her way back from school. She shouldn't have let it get so dark, but she had lost track of time in the meeting while they had prepared the debate that was fast approaching.

"Please, I want all of you to tell me if you got home safe!" she had said as everyone started leaving, because she wasn't captain but that didn't mean she didn't care. Half of them had people waiting for them outside or on their way, but none offer to give her a ride home and that's okay. It's only five blocks to her home.

She can now feel her phone vibrating inside her pocket, but she doesn't take it out. In daylight she might have, because she had never been robber or pickpocketed, but at night things changed and she could not see people's shadows around her like in the day. Her mother had always said what a bad habit it was to walk with her head down, how she would probably run into people if she kept doing it, but so far it hadn't happened because she could see their feet.

She notices a little too late that the light post in front of her is out and by then her only options are walking back the whole block or going through the dark alley a few feet away from her. It must take her maybe three seconds to decide she should just square her shoulders and keep walking and just as she's about to take the first step, she feels someone behind her.

"Don't scream" is the first thing the man says, his voice low even though there is no one around that can see her. His hands are cold as they come up to her mouth to stifle her and her panic raises as she realizes what is happening, yet she can't find it in herself to move.

"Please" she tries to say, but it comes out like a whine against his hand. She's not sure what she is begging for and the thought makes her eyes water.

"I want your phone and your wallet" he says, and she can feel something hard poke her just below her ribs "One sound and I'll stab you" he warns, the hand on her mouth leaving slowly to palm the back of her jeans. When he finds nothing there, he tries with her front pockets and raises her jacket to fish her phone out.

It vaguely registers in her mind that her phone is new, given to her less than a month ago at Christmas, and when she lets out a whimper, the knife on her back presses harder.

"Shut up! Wallet!"

"I don't have one" she lies, because she's not opening her backpack where her laptop is safe for now. She's had it since seventh grade and like hell she's losing it now, no matter if it freezes from time to time.

"Then give me your money!"

"I don't have any" she lies again, closing her eyes to avoid any tears from escaping. Her legs tremble and she worries about what would happen if they gave out. The man growls and shakes her, making her hair get into her face and a few tears to escape from her eyes, cooling against her skin.

"Don't lie!" the mugger shouts, digging the knife harder into her back to the point she's afraid it will really hurt her.

"I'm not lying! I swear!" she whimpers. She's scared, yes, but fuck this man that tries to take away what her parents bought. Her mother had told her time and time again, begged her to just hand things over before she got hurt, but Juliana is nothing if not stubborn and injustices like these just fill her with rage.

"Hey!" a new voice yells, younger than the man behind her. She lifts her face to see who it is, but the man then raises his knife to her throat and forces her to look up. She hears him threaten the person with her life and more tears escape, loosing themselves into her hair. With the quick look she got in the dark, she can't really see who it is, but she thinks it may be a boy.

"Nonono, don't hurt her! Please" the guy in front of her says and she refuses to look at him. Maybe if she doesn't look, he'll get to walk away.

"Then keep walking" the mugger says right by her ear, and his breath forms a white cloud that warms her cheek. It makes her lurch to the side on reflex, but it only makes it worse for her as the knife he holds cuts into her neck. It stings more than it hurts.

"Alright, alright!" the guy takes another step back, slowly lowering his hands…and then shoots _something_ to the man behind her. Whatever it is, it makes him let her go, so she takes a shaky step forward and collapses to her knees. She hears the sound the boy makes as he shoots whatever it is before he feels someone by her side. She tries to get away before she hears him.

"Are you okay? Did her hurt you? Did he do anything to you?" the boy speaks quickly and his hands hover over her, not daring to touch her. She can't really see him, but she thinks that maybe he's wearing googles?

"He…. He…" she tries, but the words don't come out. She closes her eyes, hanging her head for a second before she starts again "He stole my phone"

"Alright, wait-wait here"

A few seconds later the boy is back at her side, offering Juliana her phone. Her blue case doesn't even have a scratch on it.

"Thank you…who are you?" she asks as she tries to her to her feet. When she stumbles a little, the boy catches and helps her up, grabbing her by her forearms. His grip is gentle but surprisingly strong.

"I'm-I'm Spider-man"

"Thank you" she answers, trying to make out what on Earth this guy is wearing. It looks like it maybe a hoodie and…knee boots?

"I'll help you get home. Where do you live?"

"Emm…Delmar's? I don't know if you know it" and she has to trust that trusting this boy is a good choice and it won't get Frank mugged on the night shift in a few hours.

"Of course I do. Best sandwiches in Queens" his answer is almost automated, like he always says it. While his voice sounds slightly familiar, he doesn't sound like someone that works back at Delmar's and, in any case, her father doesn't hire minors.

"Yeah, I…I can walk there. No problem" and she doesn't say how scared she is by the dark, but hopes she can make it home without crying.

"I don't think so, miss"

"Juliana. My classmates call me Julie" she shrugs and keeps her family nickname to herself.

"Ok. Ok, alright. Are you afraid of heights?" he shakes his hands and legs, like letting loose.

"Not really" she answers, bemused.

"Ok. I'm going to grab you by the waist, is that okay? This is faster" and he loops his right arm around her and tells her to hold on tight. She's wondering to herself what this guy is about, just deciding that if he tries to carry her bridal style she'll scream when he just _jumps_.

"What the fuck!" she screams, holding tight to the guy. If her breasts are flush against him, well, she just hopes he doesn't notice or it would get weird really fast. She can feel him changing arms as they swing along the street and he's right, this _is_ faster.

"Leave me at the door by the side!" she says as loud as she dares right into his ear, so she can be heard over the wind. Her legs hang loosely and she really, really hopes she won't lose one of her sneakers, but wouldn't put it past something that could happen what with the awful last hour.

"Okay!"

And he lands right outside her front door, letting her down slowly so she can place her feet right.

"Umm…Thank you, for the save. I don't know how I can repay you..."

"Hey, no, none of that. It's what I do. Just…your friendly neighborhood Spider-man"

"Still. Thank you. If-if you wanted, you could swing by tomorrow and I'll give you a sandwich? Right now I just-"

"It's okay! You don't have to do that. I'll swing by tomorrow, to see how you are. Right now I have to go. I hope they haven't taken my backpack…" he takes a few steps back, his waving hands awkward as he probably doesn't really know what to do with them. She takes her backpack off her shoulders as he speaks, raising her knee and supporting it there as she tries to search for her keys. She's elbows deep into her backpack when she starts speaking, almost without thinking.

"umm…My window is the last one by the alley. It's on the fire escape and…well, it's just our apartment so no one else uses it, if-if you want to leave your things there" she toys with the ring of her keys, hitting her thumb with the little wooden keychain of her name. "I swear I won't look, I know how important identities are" she hurries to add, raising her eyes to see the boy's eyes on her-or she guesses they are, because with those googles she can't really tell "but, I mean, no one will steal it if you just drop it there and…yeah. I'll…I'll get in now" she gives him a last wave and unlocks the goddamn door.

It takes one look into her mother's face for her to start crying. She tries to keep it down as she explains between hiccup and bursts of fresh tears what happened and when her little brother pops up into the living room, one glare from their mother has him going back inside his room, his eyes wide.

Her mother cleans her neck, wiping away the little blood there is with warm water and some cotton while Juliana tells her about the boy that saved her. When she finishes, her mother kisses her forehead, her dark blond hair tickling her nose, and whispers that she better gives her thanks to that boy again.

* * *

He drops by the next evening, and she has two sandwiches and a soda waiting for him. She gives them to him, saying her father insisted. He stays there for a while and they just talk. After an hour has passed, however, she has to get back to prepare the debate that's so quickly approaching. He stays all the same and helps her with her arguments until it gets dark outside.

* * *

Spiderman starts to drop by, a few times a week. It's not hard to like him, with his dorky sense of humor.

* * *

Peter likes hanging out in Juliana's room. It takes him a week at most before he starts helping her with her homework, and then it takes him maybe two days to start doing his own. It's nice to sit on her room, both of them concentrating with some music as background noise. He always covers the name on his books and so far, he thinks she has kept her promise. She has never addressed him as Peter, doesn't seem to have ever gone though his things. Every time he has come into the shop, she gave no indication that she knew he was Spiderman.

They take to talking in Spanish, some afternoons after he's done patrolling. It helps with his pronunciation, even if he apparently ends up saying some words like a Dominican, some words as a Colombian. It doesn't sit very well with his teacher, but there is no denying he becomes more fluent.

* * *

"¡Uli! ¡Oye!" they hear a knock. With wide eyes, Juliana turns to Spiderman. She can see that the edges of the goggles on his suit widen, like his eyes probably did, and then they are scrambling to get her laptop and favorite blanket off their laps and standing.

"Hide!" she whispers and waits until he's out of sight, out her window, to call out "¡Entra!"

Her little brother, not really so little, opens the door with two bowl of fruit on his hands and a fork in each.

"¿Qué pasa Juaco?" she asks, trying to seem casual and meeting him close to the door.

"La mamá te manda esto" he says, thrusting one of the bowls to her while keeping another close to himself.

"Gracias" she drops a kiss into her brother's head as she takes the bowl from his hands, which earns her a scowl before he closes the door.

"That was close" Spiderman pips up, only the top of his face visible on the top of her window.

"I don't know how I could have explained that" Juliana laughs as she watches him enter, crawling on the ceiling until he's in front of her and dropping quietly to the ground.

"I didn't know you had a brother. I heard a baby…"

"Oh, yeah. Daniela. She's the surprise baby" and she keeps to herself the fact that her mother had cried when she found out she was pregnant. She had cried she was too old, even though thirty nine was not old "Do you want to see pictures?"

* * *

"Are you on a decathlon team?" Juliana asks one afternoon after he's answered one of her doubts she was too lazy to google without looking at one single book "Because if you aren't, you should"

"Yeah, I'm part of it" Spiderman laughs "And robotics….and marching band" he lists off, somehow looking sheepish even with his homemade mask on. She wishes he could take it off just to she could see how he made his lenses react to his eyes.

"Robotics? Are you from Midtown?" she frowns, because if a school in New York has a robotics team, it has to be Midtown.

"Yeah" he shrugs, almost like it's nothing.

"Dude, you must be crazy smart" she huffs, caught somewhere between a scoff and a laugh. Not only a superhero, but also smart. Figures.

"Eh…not really" he shrugs again, looking down to his hands as he sits on her desk chair where he's tinkering with his web shooters. The fact that he could make them from scratch should have given her enough, really, to figure out just how smart he is.

"Dude, that school is like…I don't know, M.I.T of high schools. I wish I had the money to get into a school like that" and she shouldn't say things like that, like it's his fault he gets to attend a good school, but she's just mad he can and not her.

"I'm on a partial scholarship" he explains, making himself smaller as he looks at her "You could apply to one, maybe?"

"I tried, man" she lets herself fall back on her bed, staring at her ceiling "I tried so much. I actually did well on the entrance exams, you know? But…well, I guess it wasn't meant to be"

* * *

"I feel kinda bad I can only call you Spider-Man"

"Well, yeah, it's just-you know, I-I can't really"

"I know, I know. Can I call you…Manny? From Man"

"…I guess?" he laughs, freely. It's not something he does that much, she notices.

Juliana never calls him Manny, though. It is a weird name and it doesn't fit him at all.

* * *

She learns he's hella strong when one of her pens rolls under her bed and he lifts the whole thing with her on top with a single hand. It freaks her out a little, and just to prove a point he lifts _her_ with just one arm around her thighs, her hands supporting her against his shoulders as she tries not to scream.

He suffers from some anxiety, she realizes, when he gets overwhelmed trying to study and starts hyperventilating, and she grounds him with a hand on his and gentle words about how he was not going to fail, he already knew most of those things, he did not need that much more time and she could help him with whatever she could; she realizes it when the news on the other room start talking shit about Spiderman and he starts to believe it, curling into himself in a way that leaves her thinking _we're just kids_.

And he loves movies. He just does, and from then on when both are free they watch movies online from his best friend's Netflix account and when the movie it's not there they search for it online because fuck paying for movies. There are some he knows by heart, and sometimes she has to shove a pillow into his face so his laughs are muffled and her mother doesn't go into her room.

* * *

They exchange phone numbers, if only because they can.

* * *

**Juliana Delmar**

_Remember the video I told you about? I found it! (10:50pm)_

_watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ (10:50pm)_

I can't believe I fell for it(10:53pm)

* * *

He can sing all of Allstar and it drives her crazy with laughter. In exchange, she makes a pretty good impression of Donkey.

He murmurs "shrek is love, shrek is life" and she just loses it.

* * *

**SM**

You're on Youtube!(11:23am)

_What?(11:32am)_

You stopped a bus, man! It was crazy!(11:34am)

watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ (11:35am)

_STOP(11:36am)_

_RICKROLLING(11:36am)_

_ME(11:36am)_

Jk(11:42am)

watch?v=rmsKwRspYIM(11:42am)

_OMG, I'm on Youtube(11:50am)_

_I'm freaking out(11:50am)_

_I'M ON YOUTUBE(11:50am)_

* * *

He goes to Berlin. He comes back with a new suit and a new weight on his shoulders. He rambles about the Avengers and how he took Captain America' shield, jumping on the balls of his feet and moving his hands around, and she thinks he never should have gotten tangled with them and curses Tony Stark for getting him into that mess.

If she's against the Accords, she never tells him. She doesn't think he signed them, anyway, being a minor and all.

* * *

By the third time he dozes off on her bed, she knows she has to put an end to things.

"You're not sleeping enough" she says, her hand where his forehead should be. She can feel where his hair starts under her fingers and caresses it over his mask. She sees the way the tension starts to seep from his shoulders and it makes her stomach knot. She thinks that the way Murph is purring from his spot on his stomach is helping, too.

"I know. It's just that now I feel like I really need to be out there, and with marching band and robotics-"

"You need to make more time for yourself. Get home earlier, come here less often, I don't know" she sighs, her hand stopping atop of his head "But you need your sleep, you're just a teenager. Please"

* * *

He quits marching band.

* * *

A week later, he quits robotics.

* * *

The month after that, he only comes to her bedroom two times a week.

* * *

**SM**

Are okay? I saw the news. It seemed like a bad robbery(5:25pm)

_It went okay(5:33pm)_

_I promise(5:45pm)_

_I'll drop by tomorrow, okay?(5:48pm)_

Okay(5:49pm)

That was so The Fault in our Stars.(5:50pm)

* * *

Juliana's father hangs a picture of him and Spiderman, side by side in front of the store.

It's the closest she has been to Spiderman in a week and a half, without considering the seconds she sees him picking up his backpack.

* * *

Summer doesn't bring Spiderman around more often, it only makes him be out there almost all day. Still, Juliana makes the most of her time with him and makes sure to leave food by his backpack.

* * *

Peter knocks on Juliana's window and waits until she waves him in to open it. He leaves it open, having learned from the time her brother had tried to get into her room and he had crashed into the window trying to hide. That had been a little hard to explain for Juliana.

She's laying on her bed with her phone, her ever present laptop resting on her desk. Instead of background music, she has her earphones on, and she tugs off one of her earphones once he's safely inside.

"Hey, Spiderman" she says as she sits.

"Hey. What happened to your laptop?" he takes his usual place on her desk chair, drumming his fingers atop her laptop.

"I don't know, it just wouldn't turn on this morning" she gets up and walks towards him, rolling the chair aside so she can stand in front of the laptop and open it "See? I thought maybe it was the charger and the battery was dead, but it actually lights up the little lights when I try to turn it on, so it's not that"

"But this is Stark. You can make them fix it for, like, three years after you buy anything"

"It's a little older than that. I didn't get it new, either"

"Can I try?" Peter asks, motioning for the computer.

"Knock yourself out. You need anything?"

"Umm, maybe my backpack? Let me see what I have on the suit" he murmurs, opening the little pockets Mr. Stark put on the suit and taking out what tools he has stashed there in case something goes wrong with his web shooters. "No, yeah, I need my backpack" he rolls himself towards her window and shoots a web towards it. With a little tug, he catches it and carries it back.

They spend the next half an hour chatting. She comments she's been catching some sleep now that she can take naps and he shouldn't feel bad if she fell asleep mid conversation as it was, apparently, her 'break mode'.

She implies he should do the same, but he ignores her, more focused on the circuits in front of him. _Sleep is for the weak._

She gets up and goes to the kitchen at that, and Peter can hear her yell at her brother if wants anything to eat. A few minutes later, she comes back with a plate with sandwiches.

"So. Good news, I can totally fix this" he mentions, rolling himself towards her bed. Juliana leaves the plate near the edge as she sits on the opposite side, back resting on the wall.

"But?" she asks between bites, patting the bed beside her.

"But" he starts, grabbing the plate and sitting "Not here. I can take it home if you want, look for the parts it needs, but it may take a few days"

"Dude, you're just saving me hundreds of dollars, you can take all the time you want. I'll pay for the parts"

"I…umm, well, you see, they usually come for free…from…you know…garbage"

"Spiderman. You're just the best"

* * *

It takes less than a week for Spiderman to fix her laptop. He knocks on her window as usual, gets inside with his backpack in tow and pulls out her laptop with a flourish.

"Here it is!" he offers it to her after she jumps from her bed and she snatches it from his hands "Turn it on"

"Oh my god" Juliana says, laptop resting on her left arm as she pushes the on button with her right hand "It turned on! You're amazing!" she laughs, looking at him with big eyes.

"Thanks" Spiderman touches his neck, his other hand resting on his waist. He gives half a shrug before he continues "Anyway, I changed what needed to be changed and asked a friend to give it a look and he fixed a few bugs and stuff, so it should run smoother. Also, he upgraded your antivirus" he claps his hands, like he's finishing a presentation.

She looks at him with her mouth open, halfway between hanging and smiling; closing her mouth, she shuts the laptop and throws it towards her bed, wasting no time to jump into his arms. On reflex, he wraps his arms around her waist.

"You really are amazing" she whispers close to his ear "I'm really glad I got the chance to know you, okay? I don't care what that dickhead from your school says, I don't give a rat's ass what _anyone_ else says about you" she pulls away from him and takes his face in her hands. His mask is smooth to the touch and she can feel the warmth of his skin beneath her fingertips "You're a wonder to the world, Spiderman" she whispers, tears stinging the back of her eyes.

And she means it.

* * *

"Come on, tell me! There must be someone"

And really, she should just shut her big trap. She's just digging her grave, setting herself for heartbreak. Her mother did always say Juliana fell in love too easily.

"Okay, alright. There's this girl. Her name is Liz, she's going to be a senior this year. We're together in the decathlon team, she's the Captain"

"Is she nice? Pretty? I'll assume she's smart, don't worry" she nudges him with her elbow, trying and failing to wiggle her eyebrows.

"She's beautiful" he breathes, shaking his head.

"Tell me her Instagram" she reaches for her phone, unlocking it and tapping the app.

"What? No, no way" he crosses his arms, as if that will make it final.

"Alright, I'll see what I can do" she shrugs and searches his school. From then on it's not hard to find the post where they announced the team classification into Nationals. The photo is taken from a distance, two tables with students, the ones with bright yellow jackets celebrating.

**MidtownTech** It's final! Our decathlon team has officially made it into Nationals! Captain liz_toomes, lead us into victory!

She goes into her profile and God, it's a mistake. The girl is a literal angel, a princess, some kind of dream.

"Wow" is the only thing she can say, speechless.

She's fucked.

* * *

**Juliana**

_Wtf, Liz is so beautiful(1:02am)_

Pls tell me you didn't follow her(6:55am)

_I did(7:10am)_

_I have no regrets(7:10am)_

_Okay, I have one regret(7:10am)_

_And it's not being as beautiful(7:10am)_

_I'd let her step on me(7:10am)_

_Any day(7:11am)_

* * *

**SM**

I hate you (7:44pm)

_What did I do?(7:58pm)_

There's a cute boy on your decathlon team(8:03pm)

He's like(8:03pm)

So(8:04pm)

Idk(8:04pm)

I like him(8:04pm)

_Who?(8:05pm)_

_I swear to god(8:05pm)_

_If it's flash(8:05pm)_

Idk his name, he's not tagged(8:06pm)

You can't really see his face(8:06pm)

But(8:06pm)

He's cute(8:06pm)

He dresses like a nerd(8:06pm)

_Not flash then(8:06pm_)

He has a nerdy tshirt omg(8:08pm)

I love him(8:08pm)

He seems like a cinnamon roll(8:08pm)

Oh god he takes gorgeous pictures(8:09pm)

Omg it's Peter(8:17pm)

_What?(8:18pm)_

Peter Parker(8:18pm)

He comes by sometimes(8:18pm)

_You like him or what?(8:24pm)_

I mean, like like him, no(8:25pm)

But he's cute(8:25pm)

* * *

"So, a nice old lady asked for directions and then gave me a churro. And I thought, you know, maybe Juliana would like one. And I said to myself, Spiderman, you should just go and get her one because you're a good friend" Peter steps into Juliana's room, throwing the churro to her.

"Hey!" she yelps, throwing herself forward to reach it "I thought you weren't coming over"

"I wasn't. I'm leaving now, I just got the churro and thought of you"

"Thanks" she smiles, and it's beautiful.

* * *

"Hey, Dad" she says as she pushes into the store. She likes speaking Spanish around her family and the way her father and mother speak it so differently. Her own accent had been reflected in Spiderman's Spanish and it never fails to amuse her.

"Tell me" he tells her, putting down his smartphone. It's bigger than hers because his thicker fingers make it a little difficult for him to write. One thing she has to thank God for is her parents are quick learners.

"Just wanted to keep you company for a while" she picks Murph on the way, coming to stand beside her father. Like every evening shift, it's slow, the bodega completely alone except for them. She likes the quiet of the place and she likes being with her father, so it's a win-win.

"You wanted to see me or you wanted that cat?"

She pretends to think about it, which earns her a shove from her father.

"I'm kidding" she huffs, finding her balance again.

"You don't have anything tomorrow?"

"Already did my homework" she shrugs, scratching between her cat's ears "Gonna see in a while if Juaco needs any help. We still haven't gotten any idea about what the next debate is going to be about, so I don't have to worry about it for now"

"You know I'm proud of you, right?" he passes an arm around her shoulders, tugging her to him. His beard feels funny against her temple when he kisses her hair.

"Yeah, I know" she smiles, passing her arms around her father's waist "I'm proud of you, too"

They stay like that for a while. It's nice, just the both of them. She knows her father loves them all very much, but sadly the shop doesn't leave him much time. It's the reason she covers for him some afternoons, so he can go up to watch some Spanish football match with her brother or nap with the baby.

Back when she was very little and her father had just opened Delmar's, it was just him and Frank. Her father took the whole day shift, from six to eight, while Frank worked from eight to six. Those had been a rough few years and she's at least a little relieved that Juaco doesn't really remember them. Her father was always tired when he got home and still, he made time to be there for her. He never missed a school presentation, never missed a school dance. Their Sunday afternoons at the nearby park were sacred, just her and her dad.

A few years later, when the place was stable enough, they hired Gustavo for help with the sandwiches on the day shift, after him Carlos for the night-morning shift and moved into the newly built apartment above the shop. The shifts became shorter; six to eight became ten to eight, eight to six became eight to three and suddenly her father had the whole weekend off.

Movement in the ATM across the street makes her pull away from her father's side and towards the window.

"Dad…call the police" she says when she notices the flying money and the fact that Spiderman is there, jumping between however it is that tried to rob the place.

She can hear her father take his phone and talk into it, but she doesn't take her eyes off the fight. It's her concentration that allows her to see the path the purple beam will take before it's directed to them.

"DAD, GET DOWN" she manages to yell before the world explodes in front of her eyes.

* * *

Peter races across the street when he sees the bodega explode. On his way, he notices that the second floor was not damaged at all, but the bodega is now on fire.

His first thought is of how Juliana is safe. He had seen her not ten minutes ago, in her room, as far as possible from the burning place.

He jumps over the broken window, over the counter and finds Mr. Delmar crouching down, coughing into his arm. The smoke is nothing to his suit, but it clearly affects the older man.

"Mr. Delmar! Mr. Delmar, I'll get you out of here" Peter takes his arm and swings it over his shoulders. Mr. Delmar doesn't seem injured at all, so he helps him walk out. On the way out he sees Murph and takes the cat into his free arm.

Mr. Delmar tries to speak, but his voice doesn't come out, maybe because of the smoke. Peter looks across the street where the ATM is now desert of people and stumbles around his words when he turns towards Mr. Delmar, taking a step back and then one forward when he notices he still has Murph under his arm.

He hears a woman shout Mr. Delmar's name and a baby cry, and when he looks to the side, Mrs. Delmar is exiting, baby in one arm and son under the other. Joaquín is almost as tall as she is, but she clutches him close to her like he's still a kid and he hangs into her like one, too. Peter can't blame him.

"¡Juliana! ¿Dónde está Juliana?" she shouts over the sounds of the flames and the sound of Dani crying.

It's then that Peter realizes that the oldest Delmar child is nowhere to be seen. It takes him a second to jump back inside. His suit seems to be fireproof, the heat doing little to his body. His eyes run over the place before he sees her under a beam.

Her right leg is trapped under it, the flames closing into her. There is some blood on her shirt and her face is not scratch free.

"Juliana" he breathes, running over to her. He grabs the beam she's under and throws it aside, as if it weights less than a feather. The metal heats his hands, but it's basically nothing.

He kneels beside her and slowly, carefully, puts one arm around her back and places her head into his shoulder, trying not to jostle her too much. His other arm goes under her legs and softly but as quickly as he dares, he lifts her.

"You're going to be okay. You're gonna be fine" he whispers to her as he exits the burning place, sparing a glace to her face. Her eyes are closed, and she would have looked peaceful if not for the cut that bleeds over her eyebrow and down the side of her face.

When he gets outside, he puts her on the ground beside the family. Dani is still crying her lugs out while her mother tries to shush her and Juaco is under his father's arm, looking at the second floor where the flames haven't reached yet.

"Juliana!" father and son yell the moment they see Spiderman with Juliana on his arms.

"Here" he says, passing the unconscious girl to her father. Peter knows less than five minutes have passed since the whole thing started, but he's sure help is on the way. Meanwhile, he can't really stay because he really needs to reach Mr. Stark "I, I, I have to go" he mumbles, his voice shallowed by the sounds the fire is making behind him. He turns around, already thinking how to get into Juliana's fire escape for his backpack when he hears someone yell for him.

"Thank you" Mrs. Delmar says as she pulls him towards her. Her left arm goes around his shoulders, Dani's cries sounding right beside his ear "You've done so much for my little girl, we owe you"

"It's nothing, Mrs. Delmar, but I really have to go" he pulls himself away, taking a step back with his hands raised. There seems to be understanding in her green eyes when she nods and turns back to her family.

He swings away and then back, landing quietly into the fire escape. His backpack remains untouched, the flames not having reached there yet. He grabs it and then hesitates just outside her window.

"Fuck it" Peter breathes, turning around and opening her room.

He grabs her laptop first. He knows she has started already on a midterm research essay that's worth a lot for her final grade and searches for it before deciding to just throw all the papers on her desk into his backpack. He goes deeper inside and takes the photograph that hangs above her bed. As a last thought, he grabs her backpack and stuffs the jeans that are lying on the floor, a random shirt. Peter refuses to open her drawers for underwear, though.

He goes into her siblings' rooms, too, as quickly as possible. He grabs Da ni's favorite bear and the first clothes he finds, a couple diapers, Juaco's tablet and headphones, his school bag because he knows he never organizes it, some jeans that seem well loved. Peter runs into the main room and grabs some clothes from the closet. It's starting to get incredibly hot, even for him, and the smoke from downstairs has finally reached the whole apartment.

By the time he leaves, he can hear sirens in the distance.

The fire has reached the living room.

* * *

Juliana refuses to look at her leg when she wakes up, a couple of hours into the night. It doesn't hurt, not really, but she can't really imagine it looks pretty under the bandages. Her mother is sleeping on the one couch the room has to offer, Dani sound asleep on her chest.

Her mother explains, a while later, her fractures and burns and lets her cry into her shoulder. Juliana is not a vain girl, and the scars that will surely stay on her skin don't help one bit her nonexistent confidence.

"Someone dropped this last night, while we were all asleep" her mother hands Juliana her school backpack. When she opens it, the first thing she sees is a note.

_I'm sorry about what happened. _

_Hope you get better soon. _

_I saved a few things in case it got worse. _

_I'll see you_

_-SM._

* * *

**Juliana**

_Thank you for the stuff(12:07am)_

_I don't know how to repay you(12:07am)_

It was nothing(12:34am)

I swear(12:34am)

_Thank you(6:12am)_

_Dani calmed down with her bear(6:12am)_

_I just(6:12am)_

_Thank you(6:12am)_

_It was the only picture I had with my abuela(8:24am)_

_She died a month after that and we couldn't go to her funeral(8:24am)_

_or at all, really(8:24am)_

I know (8:25am)

* * *

They rent a small apartment, after the fire. It's only for a couple of months, tops, so they have a place to live while the shop and their apartment are under reconstruction. While they can save a lot of things, their living room, kitchen and part of her parent's bedroom and of the nursery is lost. Luckily, it was all ensured, so the loses are not as big as rhey could have been. Still, the whole experience is jarring and the apartment is too different.

It doesn't really feel like home, but that's okay.

She texts him her new address and then sends her location, so he can know how to get there. She warns him that she now shares a room with Joaquín but that he can still leave his backpack on their fire escape, she'll invent some excuse.

* * *

He doesn't, but that's okay.

* * *

"Karen?"

"Yes, Peter?"

"Do you think I should tell Juliana about me being Spiderman?"

"Who is Juliana?"

"She's…a friend. We've…been spending some time while I'm on the suit"

"Then I think you should, if you trust her"

* * *

SM

I saw what happened at DC. Are you okay?(4:28pm)

_Yeah, everyone's fine (4:56pm)_

Good. That's a relief (4:57pm)

* * *

It feels like the world is on fire. All she sees is fire, all around her, closing into her. The smoke is filling her lungs and making her choke, and as she tries to get oxygen into her, the burning on her leg increases.

"Help" she coughs, soundless.

"Uli" she hears, far away. She can't move her head and knows she won't be conscious for long.

"Help!" she whispers, the smoke making it impossible to yell. A couple of tears make their way down her temples, maybe because of the smoke, maybe because of the desperation. She closes her eyes and still sees light dancing.

"Uli! Wake up! Juliana!"

She opens her eyes with a gasp.

She's not in the burning building. She's in her new room, her brother is kneeling by her side, his hands on her shoulders. It's dark and a little cold-she looks to her bandaged leg and sees that it's outside of the blankets. Good, it shouldn't get too warm.

"You were crying in your sleep" her brother whispers, sitting back on his feet.

"It's okay. Umm. What time is it? My leg's bothering me a little"

That's a lie. It's bothering her a lot, burning and aching little less than back in the accident. Probably what caused her nightmare, too. She had only been conscious for a few seconds after the explosion, but they had felt like an eternity. She thinks that there wasn't that much fire at the time, but she had been in the thick of it.

"It's…4:35. Do you want your medicine?"

"Yeah, I slept through my alarm"

"Mom must've too, she hasn't come to check on you"

* * *

**SM**

_I think I'm going to drop out of school (3:25pm)_

WHAT?!(3:25pm)

What do you mean you're going to drop out of school? (3:25pm)

_Mr. Stark is moving the Avengers upstate (3:43pm)_

_I'll need to be with them (3:43pm)_

Are you insane?!(3:44pm)

you can't drop out of school! You go to midtown!(3:44pm)

_So? (3:45pm)_

So? SO?! People who go to Midtown get into good universities! (3:45pm)

_I'm so above school right now(3:46pm)_

No one is above school!(3:47pm)

You can't just drop out of school because you think your destiny is out there or something!(3:48pm)

All your family went to college, didn't they?(3:52pm)

_What does that have to do with anything? (3:53pm)_

_Writing…_

_Writing…_

You don't know what it is to get an education when it's difficult (4:01pm)

My parents came here because they wanted something better for their kids (4:01pm)

I'm the first person in my family to have the opportunity to go to college (4:01pm)

Out of six uncles and aunts, out of ten cousins(4:01pm)

Me (4:02pm)

I wouldn't throw something like that away just because I might want to be an Avenger (4:02pm)

* * *

Juliana gets radio silence from Spiderman after that. He doesn't answer her texts and doesn't show up at her window.

She tries not to let it bother her. She had to know it could be like this. It was obvious he wouldn't be around forever, but he wouldn't just stay way because they had a fight, would he?

* * *

Sharing a room means less secrets, which means Juaco finds her crying her eyes off at two in the morning, when she had thought he's been asleep.

"Hey. Are you okay?" he whispers from his bed, and she hears him turn around so he's facing her.

"Yeah, yeah. Go back to sleep" she says, trying to sound like she hasn't been crying for a good thirty minutes now.

"Is your leg bothering you? Do you want me to go for your medicines?" she hears her brother stand up, and then his feet approaching.

"No, don't worry. Please go back to sleep" she curls more into herself, thankful that she's facing away from him.

"Move aside" he scoffs, and she obliges and scoots over, turning so she's facing him.

He's younger than her by two years, but puberty has started to catch up him and making him almost as tall as her. Still, he lays down in a way that makes sure his head is lower than hers, and curls himself around her like when they were kids and it was too cold.

"Is it because of your leg?" he whispers, like he doesn't really want her to hear because he knows it will make her upset "I'm sure it won't be that bad, remember Cassie from third grade? She burned her hand with boiling water and didn't have a single scar"

"It's not because of my leg" she huffs, although if she's honest, it is a little of that.

"You know you can tell me stuff. My friends say I'm good listening" and she smiles a little in the darkness, seeing her brother's face in the moonlight that shines through the window. She had asked for the window bed, fought for it, and it had been for nothing.

"I have a friend" she starts, licking her lips as she tries to put together what she can say.

"Do you like him?" she can hear the smile on Joaquín's face and refrains from hitting him.

"Shut up. I have this friend. He wanted to drop out of school. I told him he shouldn't. He hasn't…he hasn't spoken to me since. I know I shouldn't be crying about it, but it hurts, you know? I thought he trusted me, and he always heard my opinion on things before"

"Is he the boy you've been sneaking into your room?" he asks, as smug as that little shit can be.

"How do you know about it?"

"You weren't very quiet, you know" he laughs, and she remembers that before, when they were younger, he had been the only one she could confide into, just as she had been his confidant. She had been the one he had come crying to, sitting on her lap and drowning his tears on her shoulder, and she had been the one that had rubbed his back and whispered things to calm him down. She decides not to lie.

"Yeah…yeah, it was the boy I sneaked in. He's just a friend, I promise" and her brother nods, like he believes her, and she finds that she can breathe again.

"It wasn't very nice of him" he murmurs, pursing his lips.

"I guess not" she shrugs, and they stay quiet for a little while before he speaks.

"Are you sure it's not your leg?"

"Yeah, okay, it's a bit of that too"

She lays on her back and her brother does too, despite the fact that they're now half hanging off the bed, and waits a few minutes before she speaks again.

"Bro, close your eyes"

"Is that your world without me, bro?"

"Yeah, bro"

"Bro"

* * *

**SM**

_I need us to meet (2:49pm)_

Okay? (2:51pm)

You can come over (2:51pm)

_No, it has to be somewhere else. (2:51pm)_

* * *

She sits on the park bench and shuffles through her music. Her right earphone sounds slightly lower than the left, so she moves the cord a little until she thinks it's better, if only so she can seem busy and not feel like people are staring at her for being alone.

"Juliana" she hears someone say, and she raises her eyes to see who spoke to her.

"Hi, Peter! How are you?" she smiles, tugging off her earphones and shoving them into her pocket after she had paused her music. She has to catch her crutches as they start to slip, and she sees the way Peter looks at her leg.

"I'm fine. Do you mind if I sit?" he asks, hands on the straps of his backpack. He's wearing a plaid shirt under a sweater and she has to admit he looks pretty cute in a nerdy way. However, beyond that, she feels nothing, and it makes her sigh internally. Peter seemed like a nice boy, he probably wouldn't drop out of school.

"Erm…no, go ahead. I'm waiting for someone, though" she warns him, and has to will herself not to look around because she doesn't even know what she's supposed to look for.

"I know. That's why I'm here" Peter says, and he looks around as he speaks.

"What do you mean?" she asks, and Peter waits until a woman with a little girl pass them before he answers her.

"It's me. I'm Spiderman" she looks at him, searching for any clues that would tell her he's messing with her, but she finds none. She takes a deep breath, her crutches and stands. She wobbles maybe two steps before he speaks "Wait! Let me explain" Peter says, standing and extending his hand towards her, but not touching her.

"I shouldn't. I really shouldn't, you know? Because it was a shit thing, what you did" she says without turning around, looking up to avoid her tears from spilling.

"I know. Please" she hears the begging on his voice, and didn't she want answers?

"I texted you" she starts, clenching the crutches in her hands as she remembers not to put pressure on her foot "I waited for you. I-I was worried. I kept reading our texts and thinking that I fucked up by trying to get some sense into you, I-"

"Mr. Stark took the suit back" he interrupts her.

"What?" she breathes as she turns around. Peter is standing there, looking defeated as he hangs his head. Her heart clenches in her chest as she looks at him, because this is Spiderman. She knows what it meant for him to be a hero, what it meant for him to have his powers and a suit that allowed him to use them.

"Yeah. I tried to stop the weapons dealing, but it got out of hand and people could have gotten hurt if he hadn't been there on time, and when I tried to explain he-he said if I was nothing without the suit, I shouldn't have it"

_When you can do things like me, and you don't stop bad things from happening, it's your fault._

"You know you're not nothing without the suit" she shakes her head, taking a step towards him.

"Yeah, I am. I-"

"Do you remember the day I met Spiderman?" she asks, and he looks to her neck where she knows there is a thin little scar from where the mugger managed to cut her.

"Yeah"

"It was before Mr. Stark. It was before that suit, back when you used pajamas-" she tries to tell him.

"They weren't-" he interrupts, but she won't have it, so she takes the step that she needs to be in front of him and lets go of her crutches to slap a hand on his mouth.

"You saved me back when you didn't have the suit. I don't think that's nothing" and she sees the way his eyes soften, and she melts.

* * *

**Peter Parker**

_I asked Liz to Homecoming and she said yes!(3:59pm)_

_Writing…_

_Writing…_

_Writing…_

That was cutting it close (4:58pm)

Well done! (4:58pm)

I bet you didn't even puke (4:58pm)

_Why are you my friend (5:02pm)_

_Writing…_

_Writing…_

_Writing…_

I've been told I'm charming (5:04pm)

_They lied to you (5:05pm)_

* * *

Peter knows she should be at homecoming. She had told him some of her friends were going together as a group and she had wanted to go with them, had bought a dress in a thrift shop that she had been happy about.

When he knocks on her window, not really expecting her to answer, he's surprised at seeing her face looking at him from the other side of the glass. He takes off his mask as she gets near, wanting to see her without it and wanting her to see _him_ without it.

"Peter? What happened?! Get in!" she takes his arms into hers and pulls him inside, letting him lean into her as she leads him into one of the two beds in the room the best way she can, hopping as little as she can.

"I'm pretty sure it must be on the news by now" he mumbles, letting himself fall into her bed.

"Ay Dios. ¡JOAQUÍN! ¡Trae el botiquín!" she yells towards the door, her hands not touching him. One hovers over his head, not daring to touch the purple bruising now blooming on his face.

"Nonono-" he tries to sit up, but she grabs his shoulders and pushes him back.

"He knows, we weren't as subtle as we thought we were. But put on your mask and don't take it off" she warns him, standing up to wait by the door. He does as she says, looking at her back as she opens the door just enough for her brother to pass her the first aid kit. Still, Joaquín manages to steal a glimpse of Peter.

"Ay marica. ¿Spiderman? No podía ser alguien normal, nooo, tenía que ser Spiderman. Uli, ¿qué mierda?"

"Cállate y distrae a mamá" Juliana hisses, taking the kit from his hands.

"Sí, Capitana" Juaco mocks her, rolling his eyes as he turns around.

"_Joaquín_"

"Ya, ya, sí sé" he waves his arm over his head, walking away.

"¡Y trae hielo si puedes!" she shouts as she closes her door and walks back to where he is, leaning on the beds the best she can.

She knees beside him, unzipping his hoodie carefully and starting to clean around some scratches. She works in silence for a few minutes before he speaks.

"I thought you'd be at homecoming"

"With this leg? No way" she doesn't sound sad, but rather resigned and it breaks his heart. She's wearing a boot and under it Peter can see white bandages peeking out where the cut leg of her jean doesn't cover.

"I'm sorry I didn't get you out of there faster" he whispers, watching as Juliana pours saline on a nasty cut on his side and catches it with a ball of cotton. She cleans around it the best she can, with little pats and gentle swipes that he barely feels before searching for gauze and tape.

"You got me out of there. That's what counts. That's what matters" she shakes her head after a few minutes of silence, placing the last piece of tape and leaning back.

"How are you going to explain the dirty covers?"

"Murph"

* * *

**Peter P**

_Happy just came to school? (3:23pm)_

_He's being nice to me?(3:24pm)_

He came to get you?(3:25pm)

_Yeah, he's taking me to the avengers HQ(3:28pm)_

_OMG YOU WON'T BELIEVE ME(4:15pm)_

_TONY STARK HIMSELF OFFERED ME TO BE AN AVENGER(4:15pm)_

_A REAL ONE(4:15pm)_

_OFFERED ME A ROOM AND EVERYTHING(4:15pm)_

_A NEW SUIT(4:15pm)_

_IT WAS AWESOME(4:16pm)_

_AWESOME I'M TELLING YOU(4:16pm)_

_AND IT WAS A TEST(4:16pm)_

_AND I THINK I PASSED? (4:16pm)_

_HE SAID THERE WERE REPORTERS(4:16pm)_

Where are you?(4:18pm)

_I'm waiting in the car for Happy(4:19pm)_

I'm watching the tv from my cel(4:20pm)

I'm a fucking genius, I switched apps and lost connection(4:20pm)

_Such intelligence. Much smart (4:21pm)_

There is a conference(4:23pm)

Dude(4:31pm)

Tony Stark just proposed to Virginia Potts(4:31pm)

Live(4:31pm)

Like, a minute ago(4:31pm)

_WHAT?!(4:32pm)_

* * *

"MAY KNOWS"

"JOEPUTA! PETER!" she shrieks, turning to see him with the masks lenses wide. He's hanging outside her window, and she rolls her eyes before waving him inside. Joaquín had gone to a friend's house, so she only has to worry about her mother and she respected her enough to knock before coming in.

"Sorry. May found out" he answers as he gets inside, sitting on her bed.

"You got your suit back" she smiles, closing her laptop and putting it aside.

"And May saw me with it" he lets himself fall backwards, his hands resting on his stomach.

"You're so fucked"

"Oh, _thank you,_ I didn't notice"

* * *

**Peter**

Pls watch this dog! It's so cute(9:08am)

watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ(9:08am)

_I can't believe I fell again(9:12am)_

_IT'S THE THIRD TIME THIS MONTH(9:12am)_

You should be thankful I didn't send you moans(9:13am)

_What? XD(9:14am)_

You know, a video that's supposed to be something and then

suddenly you get a girl moaning her head off, most

likely from a porno I guess (9:18am)

My uncles always send it to my dad(9:18am)

[video]

DON'T OPEN IT IN CLASS(9:25am)

* * *

It takes a month for her house to be like it was before, and then two more weeks for the shop. It doesn't mean it will open again, not really, because her father needs to get his feet back under him, needs to buy almost everything again before it can function.

Still, it means they can get back to their home, which is such a relief she almost cries.

But it also means moving day, which sucks because she _can't use one of her fucking legs._

* * *

**Peter**

Come save me (9:27pm)

It's moving day tomorrow(9:27pm)

_Do you need help?(9:28pm)_

Well, *I* don't because I can't fucking move(9:31pm)

_I'll be there(9:32pm)_

* * *

She's sitting on the couch, Dani blabbering on her lap while being distracted by some Peppa Pig on her phone when she can hear the knock on the door. Her father, brother and Frank were at home dropping some things off before they came for more in Frank's pick up. They had never used moving trucks and survived, so they didn't see the sense in using them this time. They had always been just fine by themselves.

"Mooom, can you open the door? It's a friend that came to help!" she calls, trying to get Dani to eat another slice of apple. The baby lets go of her phone with one hand and accepts the fruit offering, munching on it while not taking off her eyes from the cartoon. Juliana knows it means her phone will be sticky later, but she doesn't really mind. Nothing a baby wipe will not make better.

"Juliana, I swear to God, if this friend doesn't help and gets on the way-" her mother says as she exits her room and walks toward the door. She rolls her eyes, knowing Peter can hear them, and speaks loud enough so he gets the message.

"I promise he will. Put him to do some heavy lifting, he won't disappoint"

"Hello, Mrs. Delmar. I'm Peter" she hears Peter greet her mother, and she's thankful her back is to the door so there is no chance he can see her smile.

"Hello, Peter. Come in" her mother says, and she knows she's trying to be pleasant when she's really stressed out.

"Hey Peter!" she calls, waving her arm above her head.

"Hey Juliana!" she hears him from the hallway, and when she turns her mother is disappearing into her room, leaving Peter there.

"Come in! Don't stand there!" she uses her head to signal him to come in, and he does so, walking around the couch and sitting beside her.

"How's your leg?" he asks her, smiling at her sister on her lap, offering her his hand so she can grab some of his fingers.

"Oh, it's okay today. This is Dani, you hadn't met her yet" she bounces her a little and has to look at the baby's lap when she hears her phone buzz "Dani, gimme" she tries to take it, but her grip is surprisingly strong for a baby. Peter distracts her with his hands, and she has to suppress a smile when she sees it "Mamáaa, ya vienen en camino. ¡A cinco minutos!"

"Joputa, tu papá no podía avisar cuando iban saliendo" comes her mother's voice from her bedroom.

"¿En qué puedo ayudar?" Peter calls, jumping up from the couch to angle himself towards her parents' room.

"Show off" she rolls her eyes before smiling at him "Ah-yuh-dahr . You gotta roll that r just a little, and it's more like 'you' than 'ee-oo'"

He repeats it and she nods this time, satisfied. Her mother asks Peter to take a few boxes and take them down, and if her face is any indication, she expected Peter to take them down one at the time, not all at once.

"He's strong" her mother says once he's gone, raising her eyebrows at her.

"I told you" she shrugs.

"And he's just a friend?" her mother asks as she takes Dani into her arms.

"Yeah, mom" she laughs, a little nervous, but her mother drops the subject.

"Was that Peter Parker I saw in the elevator?" her father asks not five minutes later as he comes in, Frank behind him.

"Yep! He's helping since I can't" she says from her place on the couch, focused on her phone.

"And since when do you know Peter Parker, young lady?"

"Eh…well, you know…common friends…yeah…"

"You barely leave the house"

"Can you just not question it?" she asks as she opens Peter's chat and warns him of the questioning he's going to be facing.

* * *

Peter is loading some boxes up into the pick up while trying to look human strong and not Spiderman strong when Juliana's brother comes to his side.

"I'm Joaquín, but everyone calls me Juaco" he says, leaning against the pick up.

"I'm Peter" he says, loading the last box and huffing.

"Hey, I know it's not my place or anything, but…are you Spiderman?"

"Wh-wha-what? No! What gave you the idea?" he crosses his arms, trying to make his voice sound more tired than he is, looking around before leaning against the pick up too and blinking.

"I don't know" Juaco shrugs before turning just in time to see Mr. Delmar and another man come outside with a sofa.

* * *

They all sit in the new living room to eat pizza, tired but happy.

Juliana has to lie and say she ate a lot more than she did, so they don't notice the fact that Peter ate a pizza and a half by himself.

* * *

She's sitting on her desk, leg finally free from everything, when Peter looks up from his book and sees her, one hand tangled on her hair, taping a rhythm against her lower lip as she thinks, and _sees_ her.

"Hey, do you know if-why are you looking at me like that?"

"What? How? I wasn't-I wasn't looking at you" he tries to cover up, and she smiles and rolls her eyes "What-what were you going to ask me?"

* * *

Peter gets nightmares. She realizes it the day he falls asleep on her bed, a weekend when he drops by as Peter, politely saying hi to her mother and going to bedroom where they stay with the door open.

They were laying side by side watching _Love, Rosie_, and she had tugged the earphone off his ear when she noticed him asleep, angling his head so it wouldn't hurt when he woke up. She knew he had been tired, there had been a bad robbery late the other night and he had waited around until the cops got every one of the bad guys before he retired for the night.

The film was almost finished when she raised her hand to wipe away a tear and heard him whimper.

"Peter?" she turned her head, almost expecting him to be awake and crying like she did the first time she watched. But no, Peter was asleep, brow furrowed, and eyes clenched shut "Peter, wake up" she shook him, but it only made him whimper again "Peter!" she tried again, shutting her laptop and putting it aside so she can sit up. She took him by both of his shoulder and gave him a firm shake "Peter, wake up! It's a dream, c'mon, you're not there! Peter!"

With a gasp, Peter sat up and grabbed his chest, clawing at it.

"Peter, Peter, look at me" she grabbed his face on her hands, angling it towards her. His eyes were wide open, looking around but not really seeing "You're in my house, you're safe. I promise you" she grabbed one his hands, interlacing their fingers and pulling it to her lap "I'm here" she whispered, and saw the way Peter's eyes filled with tears.

She shushed him, leading his head towards her shoulder. He tensed for a few seconds before he started crying.

_What did they do to you?_ she thought, running the fingers of her free hands across his hair.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she whispered against his hair, and she felt more than she saw the shake of his head. She kept the rhythmic movement of her hand for a few more minutes before she felt him sigh.

"It was Liz's dad" he started, his breathing labored "He…he kind of dropped a building over me. I was down there again, but I was just Peter. Not Spiderman. Just…Just Peter, like before, and I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe, and it hurt so _much_-"

"Shh, shh Peter. You're okay now. I got you" she whispered, and thought _we're just children_.

* * *

Peter takes to walking her home from schools the days she stays until too late, always as Peter, and they talk sometimes and other the don't but it's always comfortable.

One night, he leaves her on her door like always, lingering just a few seconds so he can see her get inside. Instead of opening the door, she searches around for her family, and when she doesn't see them, turns around to Peter.

"Are you okay? Did you forget your keys?" he asks, ready to lift her up to her fire escape like he has to do a few times already, but she shakes her head.

She takes a step closer and kisses him full on the lips.

* * *

**Peter**

_I'll pick you up in fifteen, be ready! (3:45pm)_

Been ready for ages ;) (3:46pm)

_Is it okay if I say I'm a little nervous and your dad scares me? (3:46pm)_

Dork(3:46pm)

Just ignore him, he's all bark and no bite(3:46pm)

I swear(3:46pm)

And I promise he's not a bad guy(3:48pm)

No secret life(3:48pm)

Sorry, that sounded better in my head (3:39pm)

* * *

May Parker had not been a saint child. She had, once, been young and rebellious. She had marched the streets, sneaked out of her house late at night to go partying.

Her parents had, more than once, left May and her younger sister locked inside her house while they had a weekend off, so they couldn't throw parties and invite boyfriends over. They had been known around the neighborhood for their parties, where people had to enter the house through the windows.

Up until Peter, Ben and she had partied on their weekends and after him, they still made some time for themselves. May was slightly younger than Ben, fresh off college when she had met him on a pub. They had dated for only a year before eloping and barely a year went by before they were being named little Peter's godparents. All in all, it usually didn't mean that much, May herself had only seen her own godparents a couple of times in her whole life, but back in that moment, when Mary Parker had smiled and passed her the little bundle that was newborn Peter and proclaimed her his godmother, May had burst into tears.

For her, being a godmother had meant not much more than being an aunt to Peter. Little Peter whose first birthday she had attended after a 72-hours shift and in which she fell asleep right into the cake she was eating. Little Peter who enjoyed being at their apartment so much they just transformed their guest room into his for his fourth birthday.

Little Peter, son of Ben's only brother, son of single child Mary, who suddenly only had them after the plane his parents were in crashed. She had regretted not asking them more things, like why they were leaving in the middle of the night, why the hurry, why not wait until Peter was fully awake. Mary had left crying as Richard tugged her hand, and she can still remember the way Peter had ran to the door to grab his father's coat.

She had grown horribly protective of him then. No one could dare to hurt little sunshine Peter, not if she was watching.

She had gone to Midtown at least three times to complain about that stupid kid that mocked Peter and she would have pulled him from that blasted school if it wasn't because Peter genuinely liked it, and because Ned was there.

**Peter**

_Hey May, can Juliana go over in the afternoon? We want to watch a show(12:03pm)_

I'll be home by five(1:15pm)

No sex without protection(1:15pm)

_May why(1:18pm)_

By the time she comes home, Peter and Juliana are laying on the couch. The tv is on, but they aren't watching.

"Hey Miss May" Juliana says, but doesn't try to get up like she usually does.

"Hey Juliana" May says as she comes in and drops her bag in the table. From that point, she can see that Peter is asleep and has his arm around Juliana's waist "Did he fall asleep long ago?"

"No, I think it must have been ten minutes" the girls answers, craning her head to look at her.

"Well, I'll go change clothes and then we can go out for dinner. Peter and I like a Thai place, do you like Thai?"

"Umm…I've never tried Thai, but I'll just go home for dinner"

"What, why? We can go for pizzas if you'd like that!"

"I-I don't have any money, Miss May"

"What are you talking about? Dinner is on me. C'mon, wake Peter up and put on some shoes!"

* * *

They go on dates after school, when neither of them has a test the next day and sometimes even when they do, with the excuse of helping each other study.

They do that, mostly. There's a park that's close to both of their homes and they spend a lot of their time there, mostly on the grass.

Juliana sees Peter take out his camera as they're laying side by side and warns him against taking pictures of her. He rolls his eyes and sets it aside, moving until he's hovering over her. She moves aside a lock of his hair and smiles at him until the sound of the camera going off alerts her of the taken picture.

She pushes his head back, laughing, and tries to make a move to take the camera, but he's faster than her and it's effortless for him to keep it away from her.

When he develops the pictures, she steals that one, just that one, and tapes it into the inner side of her locker door.

* * *

Juliana is not ashamed of Peter, and she wants to believe Peter is not of her. So, when he comments when his next competition is, she does some digging and begs her mother to let her go to it. Missing one day of school is nothing, taking into account her nearly perfect attendance. It's the State competition, and so she has to travel for a while, but her mother somehow lets her go.

She gets there just five minutes before it starts, because, apparently, she can't trust apps anymore, and sits in the back next to some people in nice clothes. She's conscious about her jeans and flannel for about ten seconds before deciding it's alright, there are parents around that dressed like her.

Peter is there, right next to who Midtown High's Instagram identifies as Michelle Jones, new captain, and Ned, whom she had met a couple times already and had found most pleasant. There are tons of other schools, but she keeps focused on the guys with the yellow jackets.

Peter and Michelle answer most of the questions, their hands flying over the table, and she has to keep her pride to herself as she sees Peter smile to Ned and shake his hand in a complex way only they know how, points pilling up.

When they win, she claps and tries to keep her yelling to herself. She's hungry like hell, but she ignores it as they go take their medals. She runs down the stands when they come down the stage and waits until parents have approached other schools to run to them.

"You were brilliant!" she yells as she jumps into Peter's back, arms around his neck. Her backpack hits the back of her neck, but she ignores it to plant a kiss on Peter's right cheek.

"Juliana?" he says, surprised as he tries to look into her face.

"You guys are awesome!" she smiles as she lets him go. He passes an arm over her head and around her waist to put her in front of him and she spots his best friend "Ned! Man! You were totally great!" she laughs, high fiving the chubby boy "Michelle! You don't know me, but you're my queen"

"Thanks, Juliana" Ned smiles to her, his eyes wrinkling and his head falling to the side in a way that warms her heart.

Michelle pauses in knotting her jacket around her waist to give her a small smile.

"What, what are you doing here?" Peter laughs, his face still surprised.

"Well…you know. You guys went to my last debate" she mumbles, lifting one shoulder.

"Hey Parker!" she hears someone yell and when she looks over, a guy is pushing past two of other members of Michelle's team "Who's that? You had to bring your cousin to watch or what? Oh, right, you don't have cousins"

She notices the moment Peter tenses around her, his fingers digging into her hip. She lays a hand against his, looking at him with the calmest eyes she can. She removes his hand from her hip and takes it into hers, interlacing their fingers.

"You must be Flash" she says, not moving a muscle to greet him. Normally she would never have the confidence to do something like this, but now she's wearing mascara, she had shaped her eyebrows just last night and her skin and hair were having a good day, so she feels like she can get away with it.

"You've heard of me" he raises an eyebrow, a smirk staring to make it into his face. If he thinks he's charming, he's mad.

"I have" she says and leaves it that. She turns to Peter and Ned to talk, snuggling closer to Peter "My mom says you both can come for dinner, if you want. To celebrate"

When her school had won the last debate, Ned and Peter had taken her out to eat to celebrate. Her mother had said she could invite them over, if she wanted to.

"I'll have to ask my mom" Ned answers, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

"Mom already talked with May. It's up to you. I think she was going to make a cake" she says to Peter and sees the way he smiles is small and she hates it. Her sunshine boy should smile the widest after the win they just had.

"Yeah, it'll be ni-"

"Soo, how you know Penis here?"

"I don't appreciate your nicknames for Peter, so please retain from using them" she can hear snickers coming from the others, but she ignores them just as she ignores his question.

"Hey, Peter, do you think I can crash at yours today?" Ned asks, lifting his eyes from his phone.

"Yeah, sure" Peter nods as he shrugs, and Ned wastes no time in telling his mother just that.

"Then I can come. What's you mom making, Juliana?" Ned taps away for a few seconds before pocketing his phone.

"Not sure, but definitely cake"

"Sweet" Ned nods with a smile on his face.

The teacher then comes to take them to the bus, and Peter shyly asks if Juliana can come with them in the bus, that she came to see them and could use a ride back. The teacher looks at him for two seconds before shrugging and leading the way back.

They ride side by side, Ned turned backwards in the seat in front of them to talk while Michelle read a book by the window across the aisle. Flash didn't bother them anymore, and she thinks it may be because when he turned to them, he saw her kissing Peter on his cheek, her smile wide as she leaned back to escape his hands that were about to tickle her.

If he bumps shoulders with Peter when he's leaving, and she puts her foot just right so he falls into his face, well, no one can really blame her.

* * *

Peter knows Juliana likes to shuffle through the thousand songs she has accumulated through the years, refusing to get Spotify because she just loves her songs and how she knows every single one. She likes to connect her mp4 to her speaker when she remembers to charge it and load it with the songs she gets from YouTube, updating her list of songs to include her newest finds.

Today, it's something he recognizes from years ago, back when they were maybe eight? She hums it as she flicks the page of one of her books for the test he knows she has tomorrow.

"Ain't about what waiting in the other siiiiiide" she sings lowly, humming the next part as she changes books.

"It doesn't sound from this decade" he says as he comes through her open window, making her raise her eyes and smiles at him. She puts aside her book and crawls over the end of her bed, kneeling so she's right in front of him. Today, her hair is up in a lazy bun and he can notice the new shade that fades into light brown at the tips. She had dyed it last month and been happy with the way it faded into a lighter color in a way that seemed a tad bit more natural that a lot of the girls he had seen on his school.

"There's always gonna be another mountain, I'm always gonna wanna make it moooove" she sings to him, moving her hands slowly, side to side above her head. He grabs her by the waist and pulls her to his chest "Hi there, Spiderman" she whispers, tugging his mask up and placing a kiss into his mouth.

"I missed you" he mumbles against her lips, lowering his hands to her legs and tugging on them so she falls back. He crawls over her, his elbows supporting his weight on either side of her head.

"I missed you too" she links her arms around his neck and peppers kisses on whatever skin she can find. When she gets to the border of his mask, she takes it off and looks into his eyes "And I'll miss you even more tomorrow. You know what time you'll be back?"

"Not really, but it'll be late. I'm sorry I'll miss your mom's birthday" he lets himself fall beside her, sneaking one of his arms around her waist as she snuggles close to him.

"It's okay. It's a school trip, you can't really do anything about it. You'll swing by after that, right?" she touches around the spider-drone of his suit, almost wishing it would fly off. She had laughed when he had showed it to her, but not as loudly as when she had tried his mask on and heard Karen. He'd been busted the second she had heard her name, but really, he thought it was genius to call her like Plankton's wife.

"Of course. Couldn't keep myself away even if I wanted" he smiles, burying his nose into her cheek in a way that he knows will make her laugh.

"Mm… sounds fake but okay" she says when she can get him away from her face, her hands on his hair.

"I love you" he pecks her lips and smiles again.

"I love you more"

* * *

**Sunshine Peter 333 :P**

_On the bus. Ily (9:04am)_

I love you too (9:04am)

_Miss you already. Wish you were here (9:05am)_

Miss u too(9:05am)

_I'm bored (9:21am)_

And im in class, I have a test next period

talk to you later (9:22am)

Out of class on lunch, free 2 talk (1:48pm)

Peter? (3:49pm)

Peter, u alive? (4:06pm)

Peter, you're scaring me (4:57pm)

Ned says you were with Mr. Stark.

Where r u (5:09pm)

I'll save you a piece of cake, but

please answer (5:23pm)

Peter what's happening (5:36pm)

Peter pls answer, my mom just…

idk whats happening (5:42pm)

Dad and Gustavo too (6:04pm)

I'm alone with Juaco and Dani, idk what to do (6:06pm)

Im guessing u don't have signal up in space (5:31pm)

I love you (5:31pm)

I hope you see this when you come back (5:32pm)

It's a mess back here. May's worried. I'm worried (5:32pm)

We're put of our mind (5:32pm)

Out (5:32pm)

And scared (5:33pm)

I love you Peter. I miss you (5:33pm)

Juaco says he misses you too (5:33pm)

News are saying mr. stark came back, answer your phone (11:53pm)

pls

Peter (00:28am)

Im guessing youre charging your phone, call me asap

Maybe get karen or Friday to call me (00:45am)

Peter?(3:53am)

Sometimes I wake up, and I expect to have a text

from you, teling me good morning like always(6:46am)

I miss you so much(6:46am)

Happy Birthday, Peter(12:00am)

Mr. Stark has been good to us(4:55am)

I think he feels guilty(4:55am)

I don't blame him(4:55am)

I just miss you(4:55am)

Happy birthday(12:00am)

I still love you(12:00am)

They're telling me I should just forget you(6:49pm)

Get over you(6:49pm)

It's been two years, but I can't(6:49pm)


	2. Where do we go (now that they're gone)

**Ned**

Ned(4:58pm)

Have you heard from peter?(4:58pm)

He won't answer(4:58pm)

_He saw the ship(4:59pm)_

_Probably followed Mr. Stark(4:59pm)_

Fuck(4:59pm)

Thanks Ned(5:00pm)

Take care(5:00pm)

_You too(5:02pm)_

* * *

They call it the decimation. 50% of the population, wiped off.

The government is a mess, at first, trying to get things under control. There are accidents of all kinds. Planes going down without their pilots, cars crashing when the person at the wheel turns into dust. There are children left alone, parentless because of this…incident. The news speak of anarchy in countries where their leaders are gone, places in scrambles trying to get things back to normal, but there is so little information it's no wonder people are demanding it in all the ways they know how.

The first night, Juliana doesn't sleep. There is something terrifying in not knowing what the fuck is happening. She had heard Juaco screaming, yelling for her and their mother. She had gone to him, grabbed him by his upper arms and tried to get him to listen, yelling for their mother. She was so sure she was on her bedroom as Gustavo, Juaco and their father had been on the living room, deciding to house the employee until they knew it was safe to go out.

When Juaco finally could speak again, she had to see their ashes for herself before believing him. They don't understand, not really, and she lunged for her phone, hoping that maybe, maybe Peter would know, that maybe Mr. Stark had some answers.

Peter never answers.

She feeds Dani that evening, not even asking if Juaco is hungry because she knows he's not. He's been texting his friends nonstop, trying to see who's…who's left, Murph on his lap as he tried to calm himself down with his purring. Dani doesn't understand what is happening, and Juliana has to hush her when mom doesn't come to aid with her cries.

* * *

Frank is gone, too, as is his husband.

There is no one to open the shop left. Juliana locks it down, activates the alarm and doesn't set foot on it again.

* * *

The Avengers have released information by day three, and whoever this alien Thanos is, he's a real son of a bitch. Half of the universe, gone in a second.

She knows they have lost people too, Mr. Stark absent from their ranks, but as she watches the TV, she feels hatred for the Avengers.

Couldn't they be Saviors? Must they _avenge_?

* * *

Ned is gone too.

It takes a few calls before his mother answers, chocked up, and tells her her son is gone. She doesn't understand much more than Juliana does, and she cries too.

* * *

She visits Aunt May on day three. She has Dani on her hip, Juaco only half a step behind. They can't break apart, not after losing both their parents so suddenly and so uncertainly, and she finds herself reaching for him as they walk, her hand grasping his with enough force to break.

She hesitates a second before the door, taking calming deep breaths as she feels Dani hiding behind her hair. She's been too quiet, like she knows something is wrong. She had called for their parents the night before, and Juliana had cried when she had tried to calm her down.

She knocks and waits a few seconds, losing a little hope when she doesn't hear anything. She thinks that yeah, it's actually reasonable if May is not there. Maybe hospitals are collapsing, maybe they need all hands on deck.

She's turning to tell her brother that maybe they should just go back home when the door is opened with a little more force than necessary.

May's a mess. Her eyes are rimmed red, her hair dull as it falls around her face, so long it tangles into itself.

"Juliana" May says, passing her hand under her eyes "Come in. Are these your siblings?"

"Hello, Miss May" she answers, coming inside and letting Dani down. The toddler hides herself behind her leg, gripping the leg of her skinny jeans the best she can "I…do you know anything?"

"Happy called, the day after" May closes the door, putting one hand on her collarbone and gripping that wrist with the other "He said…he said Stark went out there. That this-this suit he made for Peter had been activated, that they were probably…somewhere up there" May chokes, and Juliana launches herself forward when she sees her legs may fail her.

"That means there is a chance they can come back" she whispers, passing her arm around May's back and leading her back towards the sofa. She sees Juaco turn towards the kitchen, Dani following him, and hopes he will make some tea.

"But what if-what if Peter is part of that 50%? Juliana, I-"

"We can't think like that, Miss May. And if he was, I guess we'll have to…to trust the Avengers to do something" she feels her eyes fill with tears, the sound of her parents' laughter in the back of her mind.

May looks at her, heartbroken, and Juliana knows she's thinking the same as her.

What will make that time any different than this one?

* * *

The sky is forever gray now. Or maybe not forever, but for the days after whatever it is that happened, happened, the sky is gray with the ashes of those that were lost to the wind.

It's not pretty, it's not natural and actually rather sick.

She actually gets sick, right there in the middle of the street while Juaco holds Dani at the same time he rubs her back, the moment she realizes it's ashes blocking the sunlight.

* * *

She starts a fight to get custody of her siblings, and a job on the weekends that is barely enough to meet ends in an office that had lost many, _many_ of their workers and were desperate for someone to help them. Their savings won't last until the end of the month.

* * *

On day 23, news say Stark Industries and the Avengers have announced the return of Tony Stark to Earth.

She calls Peter, sends him texts, calls May.

No one answers and she's left in the dark once again.

* * *

After 25 days, someone knocks on the door. Classes are still cancelled but resuming next Monday bright and early, and she's looking for daycares for Dani for when the day comes. By now, she knows that more than half her class is _gone_.

Everyone avoids saying dead. They're gone, The Vanished. Not dead. Just gone.

When she opens the door, Tony Stark is on the other side. He's thin, sickly so, and he's leaning on a taller man, dressed on a suit.

"Mr. Stark" she says, blinking, hand still on the doorknob.

"Juliana, right? We met when-"

"You gave Peter the diploma from his internship. Yes, I remember. You can come in" she moves aside so they can come in, kicking aside one of Dani's little trucks "I'm sorry for the mess, I just-I don't know how Mom did it" she sees Mr. Stark wince as she follows them to the living room.

Dani is sitting down on the couch, pressing random buttons on the remote. The man helps Mr. Stark sit beside her before he turns to Juliana.

"I'm Happy…Hogan. Happy Hogan"

"Hello, Happy" she takes his offered hand and smiles "Peter told me about you. I'm sorry he was so annoying those first days" she winces, tries for a smile and then she turns her eyes to Mr. Stark, realizing what it means he's here "Where is he, by the way? He was with you, right? Is he okay? Does Miss May know you both came-"

"I think you should sit down" Mr. Stark interrupts her, sitting up. She closes her eyes, knowing what is coming to her. She hears Dani drop the remote and her struggle to get down the couch. She hears her little feet pad towards her and then feels the pressure on her legs when Dani collides against her.

"Was it… was it the decimation?" she asks, feeling the tears build behind her eyes. She had held on hope, had believed that maybe it wouldn't be him, that he would be part of that 50%...

"Yes. I'm sorry, kid, I'm so sorry"

"Did he…did he feel it?" she asks, opening her eyes to see Mr. Stark in the eyes. He looks crushed, like it pains him just as it does to her.

"No. It was painless" and she has to believe it, has to trust Mr. Stark that his spider senses didn't make a difference between everyone else's vanishing. She looks to Dani and puts back a little lock of hair that was falling into her eyes.

Juliana holds on for maybe three seconds before she lets out a wail, leaning forward and burying her face in her hands. Sobs wreck her as she breaks down, her shoulders shaking as she cries.

Her mother, her father, gone. And now, Peter…

She doesn't hear Mr. Stark approach, but suddenly he's hugging her to him, rubbing her back and saying sorry over and over again, calling her _kid_ as he rocks her. He's warm and bony, unlike her father who was always so soft, but it still it brings her a sense of peace.

She asks if they're going to do something about it, if they're going to try to get everyone back.

Then Mr. Stark starts crying.

It takes them a little while before their breathing returns to normal and they're no longer leaking any fluids from their face, and when they finally compose themselves, she asks about May.

"She was…mad. Cried at first, then she yelled. Then she cried some more. Said…a lot of things" Mr. Stark clears his throat, moving around his seat "All things I deserved, of course, but…she wasn't doing all that good"

And, of course she wouldn't. She had lost her husband not that long ago, and now she had lost Peter, who Juliana knew very well she loved like her own child. She had taken care of Peter for more than 10 years, and she was sure to lose a child hurt much more than to lose a parent, she couldn't imagine her pain.

Just before he leaves, Mr. Stark puts his hands on her shoulders and looks at her in the eyes.

"If you need anything, _anything at all_, call me"

"Okay" she says, not really thinking of doing it. But then Dani is tugging on her leg, raising her arms towards her, and Juliana can only think of the letter that rests on their kitchen table, the neat black print telling her to present to court to defend herself on why she, a minor, should get custody of her siblings instead of being trusted to the system.

She's desperate, and she think Mr. Stark notices it when she looks at him before speaking.

* * *

Classes start again, and three quarters of the teachers are new. For the first time, the rooms seem to fit the right number of students, and the teachers have enough time to answer everyone's doubts.

She starts crying in the middle of the class the moment she thinks it's kind of a good thing.

* * *

They lose five kids from the debate team and their teacher.

She realizes she can't come back on the first reunion, when the circle they make is not half of what it was before.

* * *

She sells some of the machines from the store to make some money, and even considers renting the place.

She can't bring herself to do it, and instead gets bigger padlocks.

Maybe one day.

* * *

Everyone is a mess at first. People cry when they turn around to say something to their best friends only to realize they're not there. Kids are being pulled from school and into the system. Teachers have to leave the class when the smartass that always challenged what they said can't say anything, because they're gone.

Gone.

She's so tired of it.

They're dead. _Dead_, not coming back, not on a trip. They're dead and the Avengers already avenged them, and _nothing changed_. Their ashes are still around there, buried or gone with the wind and they're not coming back.

And yet, she still loves them.

* * *

She wins the trial thanks to a lawyer Mr. Stark hires, after two months of hearings.

She goes home and kisses her siblings, and if they cry, it's not bad. Juaco is taller than her now by an inch or two, and she fits under his arm now instead of the other way around.

Mr. Stark himself -and she just can't call him Tony, not when Peter called him only Mr. Stark for so, so long- appears with snacks and cake and Pepper Potts on his arm to celebrate how they won't be separated.

* * *

**Mr. Stark **

_You okay kid?(11:36am)_

Hanging on(11:40am)

_Need anything?(11:45am)_

Not really(11:46am)

Juaco's cellphone battery is dying, though(11:46am)

I think(11:46am)

_I'll drop by(11:55am)_

* * *

"You think I haven't noticed?" she says one evening as Mr. Stark sits with her on the kitchen, fixing her laptop for the third time. She had refused to get another one, and this one is more spare parts than anything else, but it's _hers_, and Mr. Stark says since it is a Stark one, so it'll get the Tony Stark maintenance it needs.

"Noticed what?" he asks, not rising his eyes from where he's got them stuck to her laptop. His face is not as skinny anymore, not as gaunt. He looks healthier than ever, no bags under his eyes, and yet there is a shadow on him, a weight that wasn't there before.

"You, slipping money between our cushions and into out coats" she yawns. It's a Wednesday and since a month before she had started taking shifts in the week too, and she's not missing on sleep as much as she's just tired all the time. Juaco picks up Dani the days she works, and she hates what that means for him, so young and already shouldering so much responsibility, but the pay is good and at least this way he doesn't have to work.

"I don't know what you're talking about" Tony says, not looking at her.

"I know you may feel guilty, but we're not a charity case, Mr. Stark. You're not responsible for us"

"Kid, you're not even seventeen" Mr. Stark puts aside the laptop, gripping the little screwdriver he had been using into his fist, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back "You shouldn't have to do this alone. Taking care of your siblings when you're a kid yourself-your sister is not your daughter, you shouldn't have to-to dress her and feed her-"

"But I do. I take care of them because no one else will care for them the way I do. We can't be broken apart, not after-not after everything we've lost" she lays her hands flat against the table, looking at them instead of him. She's lost, completely and utterly lost in this maze that life has become-she's not sure what decisions are best, never sure of what she's doing is not harming those around her-but she has no one there for her, no mother to guide her, no father to lean on, and she's so so sure she's not the only one in the universe.

"I know, but what are you going to do when you go to college, hmm?" Mr. Stark throws the little screwdriver into the table, staring at her until she raises her eyes.

"I'm not going. I can't" she confesses, an she looks around to make sure Juaco is not around. It was a bridge she was going to cross when she got to it, and she still had years ahead for that.

"Kid, if it's money-"

"No, you don't get it, it's not about the money" she interrupts him, shaking her head. "I could try for a loan, I could _maybe_ get into a good school-but what about the time? Even if you support us, I'd be gone all day and when I get home, I still wouldn't have time for them because I'd need to study ten times what I study now-they need me. Just as much as I need them"

She hugs herself, trying to make herself small. She feels like drowning, like she has been thrown into the sea without knowing how to swim, and everyone was expecting her to do it like it was the motherfucking triathlon.

"I can't put more responsibility on Juaco, Mr. Stark. I can't. Not like it was for me"

* * *

She goes to Mr. Stark's wedding.

It's a small affair and the missing parts are so obvious it makes her sad. She was supposed to be a plus one, _Peter's_ plus one. Her mom had promised she would go shopping for dresses with her once they were closer to the date, had told her they could get Peter a tie the color of her dress.

Instead, she gets a formal invitation one of the days Mr. Stark drops by, and Pepper Potts, fucking CEO of Stark motherfucking Industries, takes her shopping for a dress she refuses to let Juliana pay for. They tell her she can take a plus one, that the number of guests had been…reduced.

She goes alone, and both her and Mr. Stark get misty eyed over it.

"You look great, kid" he tells her, arm slung over her shoulders.

It's always kid, never Juliana or Julie like Pepper calls her, and she thinks of the way he used to call Peter kid, too.

* * *

Juaco cries into her shoulder the day of their father's birthday. She pats his back the best she can, rubbing circles like she did when he was little and came crying to her.

She hates the world that day so, so much.

* * *

"You know, kid, you could change schools" Mr. Stark is helping her dry the dishes, part of their monthly dinners, when he tries to approach the subject. He seems nonchalant, throwing the rag over his shoulder and leaning on the counter beside her. Pepper's missing, something about a big meeting for SI, and she misses her.

"It's only two more years, I doubt they will make such a difference" she shrugs, handling him a plate so he can put it in the cupboard over his shoulder. He doesn't take it, and she realizes a second later what it is. With a roll of her eyes, she leaves it on the counter, so he can take it from there. She thinks he mumbles something that sounds like '_Don't take it personal'_ "I wish I could get Joaquín on a better one, actually" she blurts out. She's not sure what she's trying to accomplish, but maybe something will come out of it "He's really smart with all the tech and stuff-wish he could go to a school with actual funding for that"

"What about Midtown?" Mr. Stark says after a few seconds. They both know it's a sensitive subject, something neither of them is completely over. She knows Mr. Stark misses Peter, and she still mourn him from time to time, even months later, because she did love him.

"I can't afford Midtown" she says, shaking her head with a sad smile. Once, she had yearned to go there, if only because it was a good school. Yes, she was smart, but not that tech inclined. Although Midtown's debate team _was_ to die for. She wonders if they still are, how many of them are left.

"But I can"

"I'd never ask for that" and she doesn't look at him. She can't, because she knows she'll only see his desire to help, to do something for them. Most billionaires were philanthropists if only for the cut on their taxes. But Tony Stark? Tony Stark, who had a library for teenagers on his tower? Tony Stark, who helped pay for the disasters Avengers were part of when it wasn't their fault? Tony Stark, who funded so many projects from different schools so kids kept creating? Tony Stark, who had seen three orphaned Latino kids and decided _fuck it, I'll help all of them_ and funded the Parker Home, for those orphaned?

Tony Stark didn't do it for the taxes.

"I'm offering. You would never accept for yourself, _I know_, but for him…"

"Deal"

"Pepper's pregnant, by the way"

"Mr. Stark! That's great!" and she's hesitant on whether to hug him or not, but he has a big smile on his face, so she decides that maybe it's alright. It lasts less than three seconds, but she hopes he knows how happy it makes her.

"Yeah, we're still quiet because, you know, we're not that young, but she's as healthy as a horse and so far, so is the baby"

And Mr. Stark is smiling so, so wide, she thinks he deserves al least three more kids.

* * *

Midtown offers psychological help to their students.

Juliana urges Juaco to take it, to go and see if it helps.

He never tells her if it works, but he goes until he graduates and it's more than she could have hoped for.

* * *

Dani calls her mom one day.

She's crying too hard to tell her otherwise.

Next time, she would. When she could understand what happened to half of the universe.

* * *

She fumbles for her phone in the dark, squinting against the light from the screen before she can finally answer.

"Hello?" she asks, sitting up and trying to use the light from the phone to turn up the little lamp she has beside her bed. Faintly, she thinks she hears crying.

"God, this is so awkward. Hi, kid"

"Hello? Mr. Stark?" she pauses in rubbing her eyes clear, blinking at the sound of the man's voice.

"Morgan won't stop crying, and Pep's out of town because of SI and I-"

"It's okay. Let's see what the problem could be" she drops herself back into her pillows and closes her eyes, listening to Mr. Stark list the things he has done and haven't worked.

* * *

She still texts Peter. They never reach him, but it's good for her sometimes. She has no hope of him answering, not really, but she needs someone to talk, someone to vent when everything because a little too much.

**Sunshine Peter**

I miss the way you made me feel(1:25am)

I miss being carefree(1:25am)

I miss being a teenager(1:25am)

I miss you(1:25am)

God, I miss you(1:26am)

Some days I feel like I can't keep going, like this

is far too much, like I'm way over my head(1:26am)

But I can't give up, I can't leave them alone(1:26am)

I want things to be like they were before(1:26am)

But that won't happen, will it?(1:26am)

I think I still love you(1:27am)

Sometimes I'm just…standing, or sitting, and I

wish you had your arm around me(1:27am)

Wish you were there, just there(1:27am)

I miss your superhuman warmth(1:27am)

I miss your jokes(1:28am)

I miss your tshirts(1:28am)

Most of the time she's left crying to a dark room.

* * *

"Uli?" she hears someone call for her "Uli?" she feels someone shake her, so she opens her eyes, alarmed.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" she sees Juaco over her, hunched over as he holds his belly.

"My stomach hurts"

"Alright. Go back to bed, I'll go make you something" she presses the heels of her hands against her eyes, taking a deep breath before getting herself out of bed.

She searches the cupboards for the fucking drops her mom always used, and when she finds them she checks the expiration date. They're expired for a month now, but maybe they would still work? At 4 am, she thinks this is the best she'll get. It's not like she knows what pharmacies are open. She measures them into a little glass of water and takes it to him while the waters boils.

"I'm making you some of that tea with herbs and shit that mom made, okay? Now drink this" she places the glass on her brother's hand, sitting on the side of his bed.

"I hate medicine" he says, looking at the now rosy water with a furrowed brow.

"Yeah, but these ones taste nice, I swear"

She watches until Joaquin has drink it all, mumbling under his breath that it's not about _taste_, it's about the _principle_ of it, before she leaves, only to come back with a warm mug and sugar.

"Here. You add the sugar" she watches as he puts five spoonsful of sugar, all while she purses her lips, and then runs her hand through his hair as he drinks "When did it start?"

"At school. I puked around ten, but I didn't want to worry you" he pulls the covers more tightly around him, putting both hands around the mug. Juliana puts the back of her hand against his forehead, pulling his dark hair back. Joaquín had always been paler than her, taking after their mother with his straight hair and hazel eyes, while she had taken after their father with her darker skin and slightly curly hair.

"You don't seem warm, so maybe it's just a stomach bug" she gives him a half smile, trying to get some reassurance into him.

"Let's hope. I don't want to miss any classes" he puts the mug on his nightstand and scoots over, burying himself under the covers. She sits by his side, leaning on the headboard.

"You'll be okay" she says as she puts her hand on his back over the covers, rubbing circles as she waits for him to fall asleep.

She falls asleep sitting beside him on his bed, not even covered. She's woken up by his alarm, and when she looks down he's asleep with a pained face on.

"Juaco? Wake up" she puts a hand against his forehead and feels him burning up.

_Fuck. _

"Baby, I need you to stand up" he does with her help but can't take a step. He's clutching the right side on his belly, close to his hip.

_Fuck_.

"Did it always hurt there?"

"Since last night"

_FUCK!_

"Okay, lay down again. I'm calling 911" she lets him sit on his bed again, grabbing his phone.

"What?!" he says, laying back down. He sounds scared and she'd be lying if she said she wasn't, but she puts on her best brave face and faces him.

"I think you have appendicitis and we don't own a fucking car, Joaquín. It'll be an ambulance" she kisses his forehead before calling 911 at the same time she throws on some clothes and puts her hair up.

They say the ambulance would be there on 10 minutes, and she takes that time to put a jacket on a sleepy Dani and packing some food, because she doesn't know how long they'll have to be there.

She gives herself a minute to panic, clutching at her hair and letting tears fall while she counts to sixty. After the time has passed, she takes a deep breath, uses her fingers to fix her ponytail and rubs at her eyes until all signs of moisture have disappeared.

They let her ride in the ambulance with Dani on her lap because there is no one else to look after her, and the paramedics understand that.

They rush Juaco to take exams, they'll use an ultrasound to see if it really is appendicitis and then rush him to the operation room. He looks so small as they wheel him away, scared as he looks to the lights on the ceiling and she's left with her heart hanging by a thread, clutching Dani as close as she can.

Dani has been quiet, hiding herself as she fills out the paperwork with whatever she remembers. She starts crying after half an hour while they wait for answers, and doesn't stop when the doctor steps out to say they'll be operating, that is should take just about an hour, maybe two, if she's sure there is no one she can call to wait with her.

"I think there might be, but-I don't know" she answers, putting her right hand on her forehead as she bounces Dani with her left, trying to think despite her cries that have turned mostly to whimpers now. She yearns for Peter's warm arms, if she can't have her parents there.

"Look, I can see you're young" the surgeon seems older, with gentle dark eyes as he lays a hand on her arm "And I know so many lives where shaken by the Decimation-but if have someone, anyone to be here with you, I think you should call them" she nods, gives her okay for the operation and goes sit down.

Dani wears herself out only minutes later, and she lays her down across the chair she has been using before approaching the nurse statin that is right in front of her.

"Could I use your phone, please?"

"Of course, darling" the nurse smiles at her, and she thinks of May, probably working at this time, in another hospital not that far away. Did she ever have orphaned siblings on her ER? Did she ever had an older sibling wearing themselves down as they tried to make sense of the world?

She takes out her phone, stealing glances to her little sister as she puts the correct numbers and waits for them to pick up.

"Hello?" the confused voice that answers is like salvation for her.

"Mrs. Potts? It's Juliana"

"Julie? Why are you calling from the hospital, what happened?"

"Juaco has appendicitis. If you or Mr. Stark could come over-I know you have Morgan to take care of, but I just-I'm way over my head, and I-I need someone" she hears a commotion on the other side of the line, hushed words before the sound of a door hitting a wall.

"Tony is on his way" is all she says before the line goes dead.

She goes back to Dani after thanking the nurse, and it's maybe ten minutes or less before she hears a metallic sound from outside, not even thirty feet away from her. She hears machinery sounds and when she looks, Mr. Stark is coming inside, his armor disappearing into his chest where the arc reactor is stuck to his clothes.

"Kid" he says, opening his arm for her to fall on them.

She sobs against him, and she doesn't know if it's because he has grown used to her, if it's because having Morgan has changed his ways or what, but he comforts her in a way he wouldn't have ten months ago.

* * *

Juaco makes a full and fast recovery, and Mr. Stark doesn't let her pay for anything.

Apparently, a medical bill won't stop making him a billionaire, or so he says.

* * *

She graduates school, and her siblings and the Starks are there. She can hear the whispers, why Tony Stark is there for her, her of all people.

She takes Morgan into her arms and tries to drown everything out.

They pop open a bottle of champagne and they let Juaco try it, but he doesn't like until he has put stevia on it. She drinks hers way too fast and is light headed for a second, and Mr. Stark comments how it would have done nothing for him at her age.

There is a silence when he realizes why she doesn't drink, why she doesn't go to parties.

* * *

Tony asks her about college, but she won't go. She refuses.

It leads into a fight, and she's left angry and crying in the middle of her living room while Mr. Stark storms out. She probably shouldn't have called him a rich kid who grew up with no needs, but she needed to get it out of her chest so badly, why he could never understand why she was doing it.

He appears two hours later with Chinese take-out.

"I never had needs, not like yours, you're right" he says as he tries to fish for the last piece of chicken from his carton. His chopsticks fail to get it and he gives up, using his hand to take it and put it in his mouth "But I never had the best relationship with my family, so I thought I couldn't understand what you're going through"

Juliana helps Dani with her rice while Mr. Stark thinks, Juaco tucked away on his bedroom eating. He's at that age, she tries to tell herself.

"I tried to think of putting the time I put into college at that age and more, because, well, I'm a genius, and looking after Morgan at the same time and…I understand. I'm not happy, but I get it, kid"

* * *

She likes the lake house Mr. Stark has. He likes to tell her they're more than welcome to stay and it makes for good weekend getaways, when she thinks the week has been too much, her job now from Mondays to Fridays. She thinks that maybe it gets a little too lonely, just the three of them in such a big house. Mr. Stark seems to like it like that, away from the spotlight so Morgan can have a normal childhood.

"I'm thinking lake house?" she asks Joaquín, who nods with his mouth full from where he's leaning on the counter. He likes to tinker with Mr. Stark, learning from the genius. He's seventeen and already loves all of that stuff, maybe even more than Peter did. Juaco just can't like chemistry, so much more into circuit boards and wires and what he calls _applied physics_ and so many things she can't understand, even after graduating with honors. She always was more of an English and History girl herself.

It feels like a pang right in her chest, realizing what Juaco is now. He's older than Peter ever was.

"Are you okay, Uli?" her brother asks, touching her shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm okay" she smiles, passing the pad of her finger under her eyes "I'll go call Mr. Stark"

"You should call him Tony, y'know?"

"Yeah, no" she laughs as she shakes her head, ruffling Dani's hair as she walks by.

"Noo, ¡para!" Dani cries, swatting away her hand. She's almost five and fluent in English more than Spanish, but she and Juaco are trying. They just don't want her to suffer what they did, learning English almost as the same time as they learned everything else, and Dani's just not picking up Spanish like they did, her accent so much thicker that theirs, but that's okay. She had years to learn if she wanted.

"Te amo" she blows her a kiss, and Dani pouts at her.

"Yo también"

* * *

She's sitting by the lake when Mr. Stark approaches her.

"So, Morgan can barely talk and somehow you sister is teaching her to sing"

"That's just how she is" she smiles, moving aside as an invitation for him to sit.

"She's going into Kindergarden next year, right?"

"Yeah" she pulls her legs towards herself, hugging them.

"Are you okay?"

"It's…hard, to think about it. I know Mom would've wanted to be there" she keeps her eyes on the lake, and first thinks of how beautiful it is, how nice it must look on pictures, and then thinks of Peter and his habit of taking pictures.

"I still think about him, you know. Haven't forgotten him" and like he's reading her mind, Mr. Stark brings him up.

"He's hard to forget" she half smiles, leaning her cheek on her knees and looking at him.

"He loved you a lot. Couldn't stop talking about you, how wonderful you were, how beautiful. God, it made me so crazy" Tony half smiles back at her, shaking his head as he looks at the lake "I can't believe I miss him not shutting up"

"He admired you. You were more than his mentor. You were-well, you were our hero. We saw you from the beginning" and she looks at Mr. Stark and he looks so much older than he did back when he started, little more than ten years ago. He looks tired, so tired, and Juliana thinks it must be so lonely, to be part of something larger than life and suddenly…to find yourself away from it.

There are no more Avengers, Mr. Stark himself retired. Captain America, Black Widow, Falcon, Scarlet Witch-they had all been gone since 2016, running away and hiding until the Decimation took away the two newer Avengers. No one knew anything about Hawkeye, and Dr. Banner and War Machine had followed Mr. Stark's example and retired.

"Did you know you saved his life when he was a kid?" Tony whips his head towards her, eyes wide "Yeah. He was…seven, maybe? His Uncle and Aunt took him to the Stark Expo, and it was when-when this guy made things explode" she watches as emotions flash across Tony's face, from anger to sadness to a small smile at the end "He was…He told me he had a plastic helmet on, and this kids glove that just glowed"

"He pointed it to a drone"

"And you came up from behind him to blast it"

"I remember the kid"

"That was Peter. For him, you weren't just a mentor. You saved his life, back when he was just a little kid from Queens"

They're quiet for a few minutes, just enjoying the lake. She can the girls laughing, and Mrs. Potts' voice along with theirs. Juaco must be somewhere making use of Mr. Stark's tech, like a kid on a candy store.

"He loved you, Mr. Stark" she whispers, and when she smiles at him, it's equal parts sad and resigned.

"You can call me Tony" he says, raising his arm and passing it around her shoulders.

* * *

**Tony**

Just how busy are you?(6:45pm)

_Bored out of my mind(6:45pm)_

_What do you have for me?(6:45pm)_

College applications(6:46pm)

We don't know what to do with them(6:46pm)

Never had to(6:46pm)

Delete for all?

**Delete** Cancel

_Your message has been deleted. _

_On my way(7:02pm)_

_Tell him M.I.T's the best(7:02pm)_

Tell him yourself(7:04pm)

* * *

Joaquín gets into M.I.T with a scholarship, and they pop a bottle of champagne when they get the letter. He still puts stevia on it, and Tony gives him a good computer, saying he would need it, and to call him for anything if he ever had doubts, even if it was just to ask where they sold the best cheeseburgers.

_Specially_ to ask where they sold the best cheeseburgers.

* * *

Dani asks so much after him, they start having nightly videocalls, where Juaco tells them funny stories and how much he misses them, and Dani in turns tells him all about her day. He calls before parties on Fridays, and on Saturdays he's at their door just past midday.

He looks a little more tired, but happy. More carefree.

And she's so glad for it.

* * *

_Incoming call: **Tony**. _

_Undisclosed number._

"Hello?"

"_Hi, kid_"

"Hi, Tony. How are you? How's Morgan?"

_"Fine, fine, we're all fine. I just-I need to ask something from you"_

"Anything"

"_I need you to take a free day tomorrow_"

"What? Why? Do you need me to come by?"

"_We're going to…try something. We think it'll work, but you can never be sure, right?"_

"Is this about the decimation?"

"…_Yes_"

"Tony, please, be careful. Think of Morgan and Pepper"

"_Always_"

* * *

She's sitting on the living room, her laptop on her lap as she types away to a mail she needs to send for work when she hears a gasp at the end of the couch. She looks up, fully expecting her brother to be there to tell her something, and instead comes to see two men sitting there.

She screams.

She shuts the laptop, letting it fall when she stands and not giving it a second thought about how that might kill it for good. The man sitting closer to her looks to her, his curly hair catching the natural light from the window.

"…Dad?" she asks, and she feels the tears building up fast, spilling over in seconds.

"¿Uli? ¿Qué pasó?" he asks, standing up as well.

"…Dad" she cries, jumping into his arms without a second thought, needing to make sure he's there, actually there and not another dream like those she had five years ago.

She hears Juaco come into room, his steps halted when he sees the people on the room.

"¡Papá!" he yells, running up to him an engulfing him into his arms. Juliana takes a step back, going over to Gustavo to give him a good hug too. He seems confused, but he accepts it anyway with a frown.

"Mijo, ¿qué pasa? Since when are you so tall?" she hears her father, and then she hears rustling from her parent's room. She hasn't been there for years, closing the door and locking it the week after the Decimation.

""¡Oigan! ¿Quién fue el chistocito que me encerró?" she hears a woman's voice, a voice she had thought she wouldn't hear again.

"Mom" she whispers, running the few meters it takes for her to reach for her keys and then back to the door. She unlocks it with shaking hands, almost afraid of whatever is in the other side.

It's been five years. Five years of not having her mom there, five years of taking responsibilities for a baby and a teenager while being one herself.

It had been five years of trying not to buckle under the weight, of taking all of it off her brother's shoulders to the point she sacrificed what she had been working on for years so he could have it.

She opens the door and her mother is the same, her light hair and her eyes hazel, her frown burrowed.

"Mom" she whispers, hugging her and burying herself on her warmth. She feels Juaco and she makes space for him, so they both can smell her perfume and feel the soft warmth they had been denied for five years.

_Mr. Stark did it. _

_They did it._

_Peter_.

* * *

Happy's the one to call her and pick them up.

Her parents try to stop them, mistrusting of Happy since they had never seen him, forbidding them from going out with everything that was going on, when they had so many doubts, it had barely been a day.

Happy knocks on the door, his face solemn and his eyes red, and she feels the breath knocked out of her. It's like the Decimation all over again, but now there is no Mr. Stark to tell her the news.

"The boss-" is all he can say, before he has to purse his lips and close his eyes "I'm here to take you to the lake house, if you want to come"

"Of course" she says, although all she wants is to lock herself on her room and cry. She got her parents back, everyone was back, but at what cost? And god, Morgan was barely four.

She goes inside, Happy behind her, and she can see the way her parents look at him.

"Tony is dead" she says, not wanting to sugarcoat it, and Juaco starts crying there and then. Dani is confused, looking from her big brother to Juliana, who has gone by his side and is crying too.

"But mom and dad were dead too, and they came back" she says on her little voice, looking at Happy for confirmation "Tony will come back too, right?"

"No, he won't" Happy tells her, soft like when he speaks to Morgan, and Dani's eyes fill with tears.

Her mother doesn't want to let them go, grabbing her arm as she tries to follow after Happy to the car. There are no bags to be carried, they had more than enough clothes there for an overnight stay.

"You can't just trust this man to tell you that Tony Stark is dead. How can you-why-"

"I've known Happy for years, mother. Long before you were gone" and she hadn't seen him that years, but Peter had told her of him, of how he never laughed despite being called Happy, how he was his line to Mr. Stark on those days before he had seen Peter for what he was "I'd trust him with my life" and she tugs her arm out of her reach, seeing as Juaco follows him out the door.

"Don't take Dani" and her mother puts her arm out and stops Dani from taking another step, pushing her back into the apartment.

"But I want to go! I want to see Morgan! She'll be sad" and Dani is looking at their mother, and Juliana knows she's fighting with this image of her youngest daughter when just hours ago, in her mind, she had seen him being two years old.

"You can come if you want" she extends her hand towards her, and Dani looks at their mother for a second before she walks to her.

And she knows her mother is trying to protect Dani from the sadness that comes with funerals, of all the crying and mourning, but Dani had been to Tony's house for most of her life, she deserved to mourn him too. She knew that house like she knew their apartment, and she had spent countless mornings eating pancakes with Morgan for breakfast, being basically the only friend that kid had in that house so far away from everyone, and she would probably remain her only friend until Morgan went to school.

Dani takes her hand with both of hers, a habit she's had her whole life, and follows her.

* * *

The car ride is tense, silence broken only by sniff and shaky breaths from time to time. She's sitting in the middle of the back seat, and lets her head fall on Juaco's shoulder as she hugs Dani to her.

She catches Happy's eyes on the rear mirror, like a million times before when he drove them to the lake house, but this time she can't smile to him.

* * *

They get down from the car and go inside. There are many people there, and she thinks they're all Avengers. Most of them are dirty from the battle that had finished just a few hours before.

Dani goes to Morgan in an instant, the little girl looking a little lost among all the people, taking the girl by the hand and walking her outside, away from all the crying that's happening inside. She thinks they'll probably be in the little tent Tony had made for Morgan, and hopefully Happy or Rhodey will join them. Morgan shouldn't be alone, not after loosing her dad.

"Pepper" she says as soon as she sees the redhead and goes straight into her arms. The woman looked composed, back straight and eyes just slightly red, still in the suit Tony had made her after Juaco had been in the hospital, so she could go anywhere she was needed in an instant. Juliana can hear her sobbing against her when she hugs her "Shh, he's resting now, Pep" and it's the only reassurance she can think of, because there is no positive side of losing someone like Tony.

"I know. I know, but I just-" she pulls away, wiping her eyes.

"I know. You know I'm here, right?" she puts her hands on her upper arms and squeezes lightly.

"You're the young one. I should be here for you" and Pepper lets out a shaky laugh, shaking her head to compose herself.

"He was your husband, Pepper"

"He was a good one, you know?"

"I know" she leads him to the couch, insists she takes off the suit and she goes to showers and change clothes.

She goes make tea to the kitchen and sees that most of the avengers are now outside, talking close to the lake. She thinks some are saying bye, ready to go to their families now that everything is over. Pepper comes back after twenty minutes, and Juliana doesn't comment on it even if she knows that Pepper never took more than five minutes.

Pepper tells her everything is being handled, that Morgan doesn't really understand what's happening, that she just found out Tony left messages for both of them, and she thinks she will show them to Morgan after the funeral.

And suddenly she hears him from behind her, so quiet she almost misses it.

"Juliana?"

And he's there, just like the last time she saw him, so _young_. He's a little worse for wear, but he's Peter, her Peter, the one she lost five years ago and had thought lost forever. He's standing there, wearing the stupid "taste the sadness" t-shirt she had gotten him for their anniversary.

"Peter" she whispers, and she looks at Pepper, who somehow has enough strength to smile and nod.

She hugs him into her, hesitant because she can't really believe it. It's Peter, solid and warm under her fingertips, just like her parents had been. She sobs his name into his shoulder, gripping him maybe just a bit too tight, digging her fingers into his shoulders to make sure he's real and he's not going anywhere. She kisses the side of his head, once, twice, thrice before she makes a path into his face, cupping his cheeks and landing her lips everywhere she can reach. When she kisses his lips, it's like no time has passed at all, just like she remembers and better.

But it's strange, when she pulls away. He's sixteen.

And she's not.

* * *

They stand just behind Captain America for the funeral, Dani just in front of her and Juaco as she grips Peter's hand on hers, so strong she would have hurt him had he been completely human.

* * *

It's only three days after the funeral when her mother is cooking and she's on her laptop on the kitchen table.

"Dani doesn't speak Spanish" her mother says, her back to her as she cuts something on a board.

"Yes, she does. Just not as her first language"

"Why? She should have learned it first" Juliana doesn't have to look up to know that her mother is clutching the knife too tight, to know she's clenching her teeth.

"We thought it was better if she learned English first so school wasn't as hard for her" knowing what's coming, Juliana closes the laptop and puts it on her bag. She has to leave for work in maybe twenty minutes, having only the afternoon shift thanks to some mix up with the shifts last week, but maybe she'll leave earlier. Now that the Vanished have returned, her boss wanted her help to figure out what was going to happen.

"You knew I wanted her to learn Spanish first"

"Yaah, well, I learned Spanish first and it didn't go so well"

"What do you mean it didn't go so well? You were on top of you class last year!"

"I was top of my class _three_ years ago, mother. And I may have been top of my class on high school, but back on first grade it took me a lot of work to even understand what the teacher was saying. I didn't want that for Dani"

"You knew I wanted her to learn Spanish first!"

"BUT YOU WEREN'T THERE!" she screams, hitting her fists against the table. Her mother has tears on her eyes when she looks at her, knife still on her hand.

"That wasn't my fault" her mother says.

"No, it wasn't. But it still happened, and I was sixteen years old with two siblings under my care and I did what I thought was best, so I'm sorry if it doesn't agree with you, but it was my decision and I'll stand by it" she grabs her bag and stands, going straight to the door.

"Juliana! Come back here!"

"I'm going to work! Some of us had to work for a living" she lets the door hit the wall and then close with too much force when she leaves, but she thinks she has a little justification.

She dries her tears as she walks to the metro, and she's thankful she lives in New York City and no one asks anything.

She calls Peter when she gets out of work, and asks if he can meet her.

* * *

They try to make it work because they deserve it. They deserve this happiness, this normality after the last five years.

But everything is fucked up.

She tries to let it go. To avoid thinking of how Peter is only sixteen, now even younger than Juaco, and she's twenty-one, hardened by the last five years in a way that wouldn't have happened if Thanos hadn't vanished half the population.

A part of her still loves Peter, and she thinks she will always love him. But he's still baby faced, still young and his voice still breaks. He still enjoys Star Wars like the teenager he still is, and it's not his fault, not in any universe this is his fault…but things have undoubtedly changed.

* * *

Peter is laying by her side, his hand tangled in her hair as she drinks him in. He's just the same, his warm eyes blinking slowly at her as he wakes up from the nap she made him take.

"Your face is slimmer" he tells her, letting go of her hair to trace the shape of her cheekbone.

"I know" she whispers, bringing her arms to her chest and curling into herself even more. She tells herself she has cried enough, that she won't cry this time for something they can't change.

* * *

Peter gets panics attacks. He calls her from the suit, 'Karen' flashing on her phone while she's at work and she makes excuses, begs until she can answer it and talk him out of it.

He's usually a mess, blabbering and sobbing and asking for the date, desperate to anchor himself to something. Something he's sobbing about Mr. Stark, about how much he misses him, how much it hurts.

He sneaks into her room, deep into the night, and sleeps clutching her like a lifeline.

She tries to think it's Peter, her darling, sunshine Peter whom she loved so.

But he's just…so young.

* * *

"Here" he tells her one evening when they're on a date, putting his hand over hers and dropping something.

When he pulls away, the sees what it is. It's a chain, from where a spider hangs.

"I know you're not one for accessories, but-well, I thought-"

"I love it, Peter" she smiles, her chest warm. She does love him, more than she can think, but she has to think straight. He's not even out of high school and now she works so much, all of her money going to savings now that her parents are back, they can only see each other on the evenings or the weekends.

Is it illegal if they were together back when they were both the same age?

* * *

Peter is about a month away from going to Europe when she decides she has to end things.

She hates to be like that, going away when Peter _needs_ her, when he needs someone to anchor him, someone who understands him.

But she can't keep fooling herself that it will be alright, not when she's been studying secretly, when she's been sending applications since months ago with the help of Pepper under promise not to say anything.

Because she finally has the chance to go to school without the guilt of leaving Juaco with too many responsibilities, without the mental obligation to provide for her siblings.

* * *

She cries before she calls him.

They both cry, but she thinks Peter understands. She's been slowly pulling herself away until she thinks he's noticed, and hopes he thinks it's the natural course of things, because it's the best for him.

He doesn't need the comments, the looks they get on the street.

He doesn't deserve it.

"I love you" she says, looking into his red rimmed eyes "I really, really love you, Peter Parker" and she kisses him like it's the last kiss they'll share because it is, and when she leaves she's crying.

* * *

She cuts her long, long hair the day after until it's only just above her shoulders in an impulse decision.

Her mother is horrified, but Juliana can't care.

* * *

She gets on a good college there in New York, and her father insists she stays with them, so she doesn't have the obligations of living on her own as she studies. Things with her mother are still tense, and she think they will be for a good while.

Pepper takes her to dinner when she hears, and doesn't comment when Juliana asks about Peter.

* * *

She asks her father for Peter, and she ignores the way he looks at her when he tells her that he's not doing all that well.

* * *

She sees the news of what's happening on Europe and her fingers itch to call him, to reassure him that everything would be okay, that he could do it, he just had to trust those that had his back.

She doesn't.

* * *

Dani wakes up a night, maybe six months after everyone comes back. After years, she's so tuned to her voice Juliana's already at her own door, hand on the handle, when she hears her mother walk to her sister's room.

She leans her forehead on the door, closing her eyes to stop the tears because _it's not her responsibility anymore_, but it still _feels_ like it. She's relived she doesn't have to care for them anymore, but there is something inside her that can't help it, that feels like she needs to be there for them no matter what.

Her heart is beating fast, just like when Dani fell on the playground and came crying to her, when _she_ was the one to dry her tears and shush her. It has been a few difficult months and stepping back so her parents could step up had been harder than she thought possible. She misses Juaco's constant presence, just like she knows Dani must miss him.

"I WANT ULI!" she hears the scream coming from her sister's room, and she wastes no time in opening her door, maybe with a little too much force, and going to Dani's.

"Dani" she says, turning on the light. She knows Dani hates the lamp from her nightstand after a nightmare, because it created too many shadows, and she tells herself that her mother didn't know, couldn't have known, but the feeling is still there. That no one can take care of Dani like she can, that no one understands her like she does.

"Uli!" her sister cries, kicking the covers back and going to her on all fours. She takes her sister under her armpits, lifting her to her hip and letting her hug her. Even at seven, Dani is light as a feather "I want to sleep with you" she mumbles, taking a strand of Juliana's hair into her hands and curling it around her finger.

"She shouldn't be sleeping with anyone, she's seven. She's old enough to sleep by herself"

"She just had a nightmare, give her a break" she snaps, turning around and taking Dani to her room.

She tries to tell herself it's not her fault, not her fault, but she's terrified of how they're taking her away slowly.

* * *

She gets into International Relations, and Pepper tells her there is an internship at Stark Industries right there for her to take when she feels ready.

She has stopped asking about Peter when she visits, but Pepper still updates her from time to time.

He gets into M.I.T, and she smiles the whole day after she hears.

* * *

She dives head first into her studies, trying to ignore everything else.

Sometimes she's alone in the library or taking a test for the required science credits, and the gaping hole that had been her friend for five years reappears, and she yearns for his easy smile, for the trivia he always knew and the way he made so many things seem simple.

Maybe it would have been easier if she had been Vanished too, wouldn't it? Then she'd be eighteen instead of twenty three, and life would be easier.

But would it have been easier for her siblings?

And at the end of the day, she's still the eldest child, and the thought of them tells her that no, maybe it wouldn't have been easier.

* * *

Things with her mother take a while to smooth out. She thinks that they'll never be the same, she'll never have to lean so much into her again and it'll always hurt her mother. Her children will never be as small again, she'll never get the lost years back, but she's slowly coming to terms with it.

They both go to therapy, and it helps Juliana let go, slowly, of everything she has been holding on. A part of her will always see Daniela as her daughter, but at least she's more her sister.

* * *

She's going through the papers on her arms one last time, trying to see if she's missed anything at the same time she's making a mental note to remember Pepper to book the place for Morgan's birthday when she exits the elevator that she almost misses him.

"Juliana Delmar?" she hears someone call when she gets down, and she turns her head around. There's a man there, dressed in a shirt with rolled up sleeves and dress pants, maybe coming out of a meeting. There is an ID hanging from his pants, red. Red means the higher clearance, and she knows because hers is Red, too. She looks at the man in front of her and notices a boyish look to him. He doesn't look older than 20, and when she gets a good look at him she realizes in less than a second who he is.

"Peter" she smiles, actually happy to see him. It had been so long since she had seen him in person, since she had spoken to him face to face. He had moved out of Queens, had stopped going to Delmar's when he got into college outside the city and so she had stopped getting updates from her father.

"You cut your hair" he comments, blinking and looking at her hair. She knows it must be a little shocking for him since she had worn it _long_ for as long as they had known each other.

"Oh, yeah, it's kinda new" she fingers the little wisps of hair that tickle her cheek, her hair now right above her shoulders. It's not _new_, not really. Five years wasn't new.

"What, what, what are you doing here?" he crosses his arms, and she notices that his shirt tightens around his forearms in a way it didn't back when he was a teenager. Not that he would have used his plaid shirts with his sleeves rolled up, Peter had always been such a nerd.

"Got an internship with Pepper" she shrugs, gesturing with the papers she has on her arms.

"What, what are you studying?" and he seems so genuinely interested, not like most guys she talked with, that it warmed her chest in a way she hadn't felt since she was a teenager in love with him, before Thanos and the Decimation, back when she was still innocent enough.

"International Relations. I graduate this year, actually" and she smiles, because she's fucking _proud_ of it.

"That's great! That's-that's really cool" and he seems so excited for her she can't help but smile.

"and you, Peter?"

"Well, I still have this internship, for real this time. Got into M.I.T" and she knows that, but she never got the chance of congratulate him.

"That's wonderful, Peter! I'm really proud" she puts her hand on his arm and realizes a second too late that maybe she's not allowed to do that, anymore.

"How have you been? Your siblings?"

"Good, they're good. Juaco graduated last year. Dani's turning twelve next week"

"Twelve?! Wow, that's insane" and God, she had missed how expressive he always was, how happy he always got with everything good that happened. Why did she break up with him again? Why did she do so much harm?

"It is" she waits a few seconds to see if he'll say anything else before speaking "How have you been, Peter?"

"I'm…I'm better" he shrugs, and she's happy about it. It's been five years since Tony died, and despite how hard that could have been for all of them, time healed wounds. There would always be something empty in them, she would know, after those five years where she had lost her parents and him, but things got better, with time.

"Last I heard you were dating MJ" and she's not sure why she says that, why she feels the need to know whether he's still with her,

"Yeah, it…it fell through. We're still friends, though" and she nods, because that's what she should have done, she should have tried to be on his life still, tried to keep contact because he was worth it.

"That's good" she says, because that's the only thing she can think of.

"Yeah…"

She looks at her shoes, the heels she kind of hates but are a requirement for the job, just like the skirt because they were _formal_. At least she could wear trousers on the winter.

"Do you…do you want to go grab coffee? I'm sure Pepper can excuse you" Peter speaks up, giving her that smile she loved so much, innocent and wide, the one that makes his eyes shine and her heart beat faster.

"I'd love to"


End file.
